Have you started revising yet?
At least you have your provisional driving licence
Exams are just around the corner, and you’re telling yourself everyday to revise more.
The libraries are full, and everyone around you has seriously got their shit together. But fear not, procrastinating peers, you can finally brave the terrors of those non-existent lecture notes.
Watch an inspirational video talking about how little exams really mean
Motivational films are the perfect way to calm yourself down from. They cheer you up, waste valuable revision time and make you feel like you don’t even need a degree. Perfect.
A prime example is the “I Will Not Let An Exam Result Decide My Fate” video, which went viral a couple of years ago when thousands of students desperately tried to reassure themselves failing is cool. It worked.
Take some time to reflect
Take a break from procrastinating to go on a pensive journey somewhere you can really think about your life. Who even are you? What even is life? Why do we even have exams? All extremely valid questions which are about as easy to answer as your statistics paper.
Remind yourself of all the achievements you already have
A great comeback to those people who think it’s cool to brag about how “little” revision they’ve done, when they’ve pretty much revised the whole bloody course, is to throw your other achievements at them.
It will probably go something like this:
Annoying study-freak friend: “How much revision have you done? I’ve only written notes on 10 of the lectures so far. I’m dreading the exam.”
You: “I passed my practical driving test first time around.”
That’ll show them.
Invest in pointless anti-stress objects
We’re talking stress balls, massage pillows, calming candles. If it has the potential to relax you in any way, you need it in your life. If you’re skint, you’ll just have to improvise. Anything can be a stress ball if you use your imagination.
Make a revision plan
Revision plans are a great way to waste time at the beginning of the revision period. And if you’re going to hop on the bandwagon, you may as well commit. We’re talking colour-coding, headings, sub-headings, little diagrams of you doing the revision.
This is probably the last opportunity for you to have fun, so don’t hold back. If all else fails, at least you’ll have a set of notes to rival Picasso.
Have a tactical nap
Your lecture notes can’t hurt you when you’re dreaming about being the next Wolf of Wall Street, so why not just spend more time in the world where you’re already rich and famous? You’ll wake up with an inflated ego: a key necessity to bossing your exams. It’s win win.
Eat your feelings
When things hit rock bottom, this is really the only option you have left. Get to Asda and sweep up all the junk food into your trolley. Food is the best form of comfort.
If all else fails…
Remember, it could be worse. You could be at JMU.