The five stages of a Jones’ meal every Leicester student should experience

It’s a grim Saturday morning and your head is pounding from the night before. You want to wallow in bed and spend your day not eating, not thinking and not moving. But then your housemate utters the famous proposition of: “Jones’?” All of a sudden, out of nowhere, you find the strength to get dressed, your tummy starts to rumble in anticipation and all you can think about is sausages dripping in syrup. What better way to start the weekend than a brunch at Jones’? But it’s not just any old caff. A Jones’ is something to be respected. There are then a few stages that you have to pass through in order to get that perfect, glorious experience.

The queue only makes you want it more

It’s the weekend and you and your mates aren’t the only ones with the bright idea to go to Jones’. The bistro is packed with families and Leicester locals who look just a tiny more respectable than you do in your Uni of Leicester tracky bottoms. So it’s inevitable that you’ll have to wait outside before you can get in. Not to worry, it’s never too long out there. You know its going to be worth the wait.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLZYNDDB43i/?taken-at=237286988&hl=en

Spotting a Leicester celeb

When you enter and you find your seat, survey the tables for any famous faces. Any beady eyed rugby fans should be on the lookout here; Jones’ is a prime location for spotting a Leicester Tiger wolfing down his brunch on his weekend off.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGUH2ZMEO21/?taken-at=237286988&hl=en

The meal

The food arrives. Your mouth is already watering. You lick your lips. For a moment you simply do not know what to do with yourself. You just look at it and think, it’s been a stressful week at uni, I have earned this! Giving yourself a pat on the back, you tuck in.

https://www.instagram.com/p/rcEOFumr9M/?taken-at=237286988&hl=en

The meal (part 2).

It’s a challenge but you can do this. The pancakes, the syrup sausages, the golden egg…its almost too much so pace yourself. Make every bite last. But you’re starting to feel like you could burst.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BIXRFLMDzFP/?taken-at=237286988&hl=en

The aftermath

The final stage consists of you and your mates staggering back through Clarendon as you congratulate yourselves for being productive by getting out of the house in such a state. You slump back on the sofa where your hangover rudely re-invites itself into your head, but at least you will spend the remainder of the afternoon in front of the TV as you wallow in that glorious, Jones’ induced food coma.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BFJHhaBGXId/?taken-at=237286988&hl=en