All the struggles of having average-sized tits

This one goes out to all us 32Cs


Plenty of girls have argued before about the pros and cons of having big or small boobs. Everyone has heard of the ‘itty bitty titty committee’. Everyone knows about the struggle of back ache for all the buxom ladies in the world. But what about us lot that just fall short of either group? I’ve found myself relating to bits of both, but never fully committing to any one side. Then I realised why: my tits are painfully average. And this comes with its own set of woes.

Never knowing your ACTUAL size because you’re just lumped into the 32C bracket

Sexting is a nightmare. ‘What bra size are you ;)’ can only be answered with a paragraph going something like ‘well, in H&M I get a 32B but in Primark I’m a 32C. I got measured in M&S when I was like 13 and they said I was a 32C sooo, let’s go with 32C? But I’m not really sure. Could be a B. Or even a D! Maybe I’m not even a 32. I don’t really know babe x’. This aside your boobs either pop out the top of your bras or there’s a gap wide enough to stick your hand down between your bra and your tit. The struggle is real, ladies.

Suffering wardrobe malfunctions after wrongly assuming you’ll be fine without a bra

Cute little top that looks 1000% better braless? It’s a risk worth taking – or so you will think, until you’re walking with your eyes glued to your own boobs out of fear of a dreaded nip slip. They just won’t stay put, will they, even though it seemed as though you could feasibly go without a bra. You’ll probs just fuck it and walk around gripping the girls to keep them in place.

Is puberty over yet?

Seriously, are they still growing? Because if they grew just a little bit more, they could teeter into the ‘big tits’ league. But no, you’re in your mid-twenties, and puberty has definitely stopped.

No one has any strong feelings about your tits

It’s hard to get excited about tits so average. Buxom pairs have always been admired, whilst petite pairs can lead to comparisons to the likes of Kate Moss and Twiggy. But average tits? Even you can’t get too het up about your own pair.

You’ve probably considered a boob job

If they were just a little bit bigger…

If you lose or gain weight, the girls are the first to know

Lose weight: goodbye boobs. Gain weight: hello boobs.

Tube tops and halter tops are just a no

Too small for tube tops, too big for halter tops, you can never win. Halters will leave you spilling out all over the place and places you in danger of a nip slip, whilst tube tops will slide down your body without anything to hold them up. Just stick to T-shirts, they’ll never betray you like this.

Not filling out the bust of some dresses

Fits your curves to a T, is the most flattering garment in all of the world, cute colour, cute design: but what’s this? A gap the size of the Grand Canyon between the busty bit and your boobs. You can try it without a bra, with a bra, with a super-padded bra, but you just know it’s never gonna work.

Bikini shopping is hell

Nothing is flattering. The girls are either all over the place, failing to stay in place in some unsupported Neoprene monstrosity, or they’re looking markedly small in a revealing strappy number. All you want in life is to look like Ashley Graham in a bikini, but so far you’re either managing to look like a Mess™ or a prepubescent girl.

Half of these aren’t even real struggles

Girls with big tits and small tits, I salute you. Your struggles are real. The worst part of having average tits is that I can’t even be a drama queen about it. With average tits comes average levels of drama, and frankly, it’s boring as hell. And that’s the real struggle.