Victory as we’re voted top of uni league tables ahead of Uni of

We’ve always been better than our rivals at the top of the hill, and now a new uni rankings has just proved us right.

The Guardian’s 2016 league table places us one notch above the University of Liverpool, making us the best uni in the city – not that we need reminding.

We’ve shot up 22 places since last year, taking us from a miserable 80th to 58th.

Sadly for Uni of it’s just gone from bad to worse as they’re having a hard time proving their “excellence”, falling from 45th to 59th in the space of a year.

It’s time to drop the anti JMU hate chants and accept you’re going nowhere.

Victory shining over Aldham Robarts

It is true we pride ourselves on our boozy culture and embarrassing ourselves at every Cool It! night all in the name of fun, but that didn’t stop us showing our true academic talents.

The rankings have been based on factors such as student satisfaction, standard of teaching, and opinions on modules, adding to the overall quality experience John Moores provides.

In terms of individual subjects, we were ranked better in pretty much all the important ones such as English, Maths, and Engineering.

Of course we also beat Edge Hill, who came 85th in subject rankings for Law.

But it would be unjust of us to not pride Uni of on their few achievements, who came first for Anatomy and Human Biography, as well as beating us in Psychology.

Looking pretty lonely there Uni of…

It is true they cling to their Russell group reputation, and pride themselves on being more employable than us after graduation.

However, their 73.8 per cent employability rate won’t be doing you many favours, considering you’ve downgraded in everything else.

Third year English student Caroline told The Tab: “I’m so happy John Moores University is being recognised as a great place to study, because after three years of studying there myself, I feel like it has benefited me in many ways and it deserves the praise it is receiving.”

Of course the sad truth is Uni of will always receive recognition based on their red brick status, but for now that can be forgotten.

They’ve been pushed aside this year, so it’s only fair John Moores revel in their glory. Better luck next time.