Flop Gear: Big cars on campus

Exeter really isn’t that big a city. In fact, it’s remarkably small. But for certain students, the half mile trek from Pennsylvania to campus is just too much to handle.

These lazy louts spend their student loans topping up their fuel guzzlers, placating the traffic warden, and paying the extortionate fees of the University car parks.

Although, these petrolhead do sometimes live the high-life: enjoying bountiful trips to Lidl so at the risk of looking like a really big dick (but we don’t blame you, if we were rich enough we would all have the pussy wagon with us).

Through a highly fastidious study, here are the top campus cars.

Fiat 500

This car is now the biggest selling hatchback of the decade, perfect for those who want to be seen as a little bit quirky.

The drivers of this car invariably study something in the Business School, pin “Keep Calm and Carry On” posters on their door, and spend their evenings trawling through “fitness moguls” on Instagram. If the owner of this car is REALLY cool, there will be some “wacky” decals across the side.

The car is super economical and ecofriendly, for that we applaud you, and with the cheap tax you can afford 57 extra VKs a year.

Mini

Imagining yourself as Michael Caine and Noel Coward is easy in this classic British icon, but leaves you looking far from iconic. With carbon copies of these cars rippling down Vic Street, this is the archetypal ride for any Exeter student.

With good reason, it’s luxurious without being too pretentious, easy to drive, supposedly easy to park, and can comfortably fit almost any sporting paraphernalia.

Ford KA

Always one step behind the Mini

The Old Lafrowda of campus cars.

Like an old comfortable Croc, what this car lacks in features it has in charm. Originally designed as a children’s car, Ford has managed to give many a man crippling back pain as a result of shoehorning themselves into its compact, but not so bijou, interior.   As the backseats are too small for anyone over 5ft to sit comfortably, the rear bench is invariably strewn with McDonald’s wrappers, apple cores, and dirty kit.

But beneath the shoddy veneer, this car provides a charm that no other can achieve, offering you the ability to play your ‘Now That’s What I Call Music 28’ cassette.

VW Polo

The Polo is a firm favourite amongst students, and is the poster car of the AU. Slightly pricier than some of the other student whips, this car offers all the luxury and precision one would expect from the Germans: Electric windows, a CD player, and even air-conditioning, meaning that the toilsome drive down to Morrison’s can be endured by anyone!

VW Golf

If you look carefully around Pennsylvania, you may even spot the Polo’s better-looking, more powerful, sexier brother – The VW Golf. The Golf is the perfect vehicle for getting to and from Waitrose, offering the space to fit that extra crate of Heineken.

This will probably be the vehicle giving you a lift to Touch Duckes and going on day trips to Spitchwick, complete with a GoPro sticking out the window.