The last straw: EUSA bans strawpedoing at The Big Cheese

Heading to The Cheese tomorrow night? Better BYOS (bring your own straw).

Because in a move that will devastate many of our VK soaked cheese-goers, nanny state EUSA has made the decision to stop supplying straws – and to throw out those who participate in strawpedoing.

The cheese in happier, VK filled times

EUSA’s vice president Tasha Boardman said: “We have a responsibility to operate in a socially responsible manner in accordance with licensing law.

“We had been seeing an increase in the practice of strawpedoing at the Big Cheese which is not deemed as responsible consumption under licensing legislation, which we have a duty to uphold.

“We took the opportunity to remove the straws to the back counter so we could communicate to customers when requesting a straw that strawpedoing is not a practice we allow and if caught they may be removed.”

We’re devastrawted.

And Edinburgh students aren’t happy. Politics second year Robin said: “I’m utterly disgusted with EUSA’s heavy-handed nannying.”

Second year Historian Erin asked: “Are they deliberately trying to make it suck?”

The ban comes as the EUSA website pushes “Around the World in 80 Beers”, a chance to “help us explore a tasty selection of beers from around the globe”.

That’s a lot of beers

If you drank 80 beers, you’d be consuming a whopping 184 units of alcohol, while a VK contains 1.1 units.

If you’re as outraged as we are, sign our petition.

#saveourstraws