What do you mean you don’t own a parka?

For anyone living in England or Edinburgh (what’s the difference, right) you’ll be very familiar with the fashion icon that is the parka.

A sturdy, comfy jacket great for keeping you warm, it’s hard to understand why you wouldn’t want to own one.

But the parka has become so badly associated with what appears to be predominantly posh English kids, that they get a very bad rep.

Poor parkas.

The Park-Yah

Prague is sort of like my second home

The guy with a topknot so long it’s offensive to look at, on his way to a “totally bourgeois politics lecture”.

He’ll be the guy that brings a nice bottle of red wine to pre-drinks and constantly mention his Gap-Yah.

He’ll proceed to talk about how he “found himself” on the salt flats of Peru and how the Dalai Lama is his spirit animal.

The Practical One

Look how ashamed he is

There are of course those who bought one thinking they were just a nice jacket, with no knowledge of the implications.

These are the people whose mum likely bought them their parka so their little baby doesn’t get too cold.

They are the ones who now walk about hoping they aren’t associated with the teams of parks running around.

The Roller

Added to my model portfolio

It’s easy to spot them, they’re the ones with slicked hair or a beanie, buttoned up parka even if it’s quite sunny and rolling their cigarettes.

This will most likely be accompanied by a look of disdain that you even exist and don’t own a parka.

Parka Girl

Look how happy she is

Despite sounding like the worst super-hero, these girls are incredibly attractive, yet seem to all be the same person.

They are always hanging out with The Rollers smoking their cigarettes for them.

It’s an intricate mating system, as yet unexplained by biologists.

But then again, they are very nice and maybe I’m just jealous that I can no longer buy one of these incredibly comfy jackets without experiencing the negative connotations.