The North is dead. Winter is coming.

The Guardian Newspaper’s Andy Beckett recently took a trip to the North East of England, and his literary response was less than positive.

He remembers the golden era of Tony Blair’s Labour Party, comparing it to the recessive economic conditions under today’s Conservative government.

Who even uses amusements anyway?

Beckett dismissed the North East as England’s Detroit, America’s centre of bankruptcy, crime and poverty.

Between 2007 and 2012, unemployment in the region rose to 10%, making it the highest in the country. In Newcastle and Middlesbrough, child poverty rose to 40% and 38% respectively.

Please Sir, I want some more…

What’s more, Beckett wrote that the area’s contribution to the national economic growth fell from 3% to barely 2% GDA.  However, in reality the drop was only 0.2%.

Private sector business activity is actually the highest it’s been in four years, according to Lloyd’s bank, and that the manufacturing industry is worth £7.5 billion and exports £14 billion-worth of goods every year.

One of the more lucrative businesses

A petition has since been formulated urging Andy Beckett to return to the region and give a more “balanced and educated” review.

Damn straight.