DECEPTION, MURDERS AND LIES-the DDF Mimes reveal all

“Who are these mimes?” “What is this mime thing all about?”

For many students at Durham University the DDF mimes have been the source of much curiosity. Cries of “we all knew they had gone missing, but we couldn’t understand why!” filled the streets and social networking sites. The One is here to put a stop to this endless confusion with information from the mimes themselves. This is their story.

Didier Noire and Francoise Blanc are just two mimes that have a passion for drama. Having met Durham Drama Festival Director, Paul Moss at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2011, they were truly enthralled after being invited to be the faces of DDF 2012. Little did they know what Moss had in store for them, and indeed many others.

In an exclusive interview with Durham One, using a text-to-speech computer program, Mr Noire and Ms Blanc recounted how during their four short weeks in Durham they have been relentlessly abused by Moss. Locked in the basement of the Assembly Rooms Theatre, Noire and Blanc have slept, eaten, and lived in a space less than 2m square, only leaving for ‘publicity shoots’ around the City. Whilst on a fortnightly trip to the bathroom, the mimes uncovered one of the most shocking revelations ever to shake the realms of Durham Student Theatre.

“It was awful” recounts Mr Noire, “we heard Paul on a phone-call, stating that he planned to sabotage the Festival!” After being forced to return back to their cell, Noire and Blanc realized that something had to be done. Their prime opportunity arose during a publicity shoot on Saturday 28th January when they had the fortune to escape Moss’s clutches.

Brandishing a file labeled ‘Secret Documents’, stored in Noire’s suitcase, Blanc proceeds, “All the evidence we have managed to collect is in this”. Pointing to the first page, she continues. “This one contains detailed information of how to administer cyanide to a glass of champagne. The next has particulars of names and addresses of every lead actor in the Festival. We can only assume that the reason that Paul has been leading such a vigorous campaign to get us back is because he has noticed such documents disappearing over time.”

Ever since their escape two weeks ago, Noire and Blanc have been returning to Durham sporadically, slowly gathering evidence, which they will release this week in the hope that it will foil Moss’s plans. “From everything we’ve found,” Noire steps in, “we think we understand what Paul is trying to do. We’ve seen him learning lines, quizzing playwrights, and organising shipments of cyanide. We have come to the conclusion that he is trying to kill off the lead actors so that he can step in at the last minute and be the hero.”

Fascinated by this idea, The One went in search of more information about Moss. What we uncovered was both intriguing and appalling. It transpires that this is not the first time that Moss’s ‘hero’ concept has been utilised. In fact, just one month ago, Moss managed to force a member of the cast of Oklahoma! to drop out of the show, and thus secure himself a place in the chorus. What looked at the time like a heroic act now clearly has some dark undertones.

The One is truly appalled by the ill-treatment of these mimes alongside the idea that the once trusted Moss has turned into an ego centric mad-man. Directors; take care of your actors. Moss must be stopped. Keep your eyes peeled for further updates from Didier Noire and Francoise Blanc.

This mime thing isn’t as black and white as it seems.

As a side note, because these mimes are still so incredibly loyal to the Festival but hate to allure you into the clutches of Moss, they encourage you to cautiously have a look at the Festival programme at www.durhamdramafest.com.