Excel-LENT? My Lent Term in under 500 words

If only the girl I was last year, desperately keeping up with the notifications of the offer holders Facebook group, knew who I would be today.

Cambridge College column columnist Drinking Freshers Pembroke Student Tab

It seems so difficult to accept that there’s only one measly week left to Lent.

I put my gown on for what will probably the last time till Easter, and I started the slow and arduous process of taking down all the stuff on my pin board so that I could leave my room empty for whichever conference attendee/Easter program student is going to live in it during the holidays. May they love the entirely without character wooden furniture as much as I do. 

Lent Term almost being over, I thought I would take this time to reflect on everything this term has given me, and indeed everything this term hasn’t given me. Buckle up, ladies and gent, it is time for the final complaint of term.

I didn’t think that I would consume that much alcohol during this term. My New Year’s resolution to tone down the drinking and really crack down on the poetry lasted maybe two weeks. Despite the spirit of denying yourself that Lent seems to be about, I have somehow collected a pretty incredible arsenal of empty bottles in my room. Perhaps the most shameful part of it all is that I haven’t even gotten round to chucking them in the recycling.

This is what sobreity looks like.

This is what sobreity looks like.

Do you know what else I said I would stop doing this term? Having 2 hour naps. Did I stop having two hour naps this term? Of course not. For someone who says that she’s sleep deprived as much as I do, you’d think I wasn’t partaking in afternoon sleep sessions as often as I am. 

It’s hilarious, how many of the bad habits I picked up in Michaelmas and then relentlessly told myself I would kick in Lent I have…not gotten rid of.  If anything, I called my family less, I procrastinated more (thanks Tab) and I ate way more cheese. I couldn’t even let go of my genuinely concerning Coke Zero addiction.

Sometimes solace IS found at the bottom of a bottle. Sweet, sugar free, caffeinated solace.

Sometimes solace IS found at the bottom of a bottle. Sweet, sugar free, caffeinated solace.

My face took on even more resting bitchery, and I got mistaken not just for a second year, but even for a third year a few times. (Guys I know I have dead eyes, I don’t need the reminder in the shape of ‘hang on? you’re a fresher?’ Yes. I just give up hope much more quickly than the rest of my cohort. Bless ‘em.)

Yes I have wound up at the tail end of Lent feeling significantly less “fresh”, with a lost CamCard and the only thing achieved during the weekend being that I watched season 4 of House of Cards. Ah, the Cambridge dream. If only the girl I was last year, desperately keeping up with the notifications of the offer holders Facebook group knew who I would be today. 

An accurate summary of how I got through Lent

An accurate summary of how I got through Lent

Bring on the next one.

At the very least there will be May Week to look forward to.