The best of the Cambridge offer holders’ group
Your new college children are being tragic online
A plethora of eager sixth formers have taken to Facebook to talk shit, ask unhelpful questions and engage in irrelevantly serious debate.
The Tab has tirelessly trawled through the Facebook Cambridge Offer Holders’ Group for the very best it has to offer.
The dangerous gap between sixth formers receiving their offers, and actually getting the required A level results, has caused tensions to bubble out of control. Their anxieties about social justice and narcotics consumption have risen to a head.
But not everyone’s attempts at serious discussion have been met with approval.
With that said, there can’t be enough debate about drugs.
In fact, this year’s group of freshers looks to be a pretty hardy lot.
But the smugness didn’t end there. This is, of course, the University of Cambridge.
The euphoria was overpowering, and the offer holders looked back with nostalgia to a whole three months before.
But what better way to represent such emotion than with music!?
Within this cesspit of love and harmony, friendships could only but blossom.
But for some offer holders, words weren’t enough and they felt the need to put a face to the name.
While odd, this wasn’t the only source of confusion.
There were the classic A level panic posts.
And when asked their college of choice, there were some admittedly fantastic answers.
But there’s always that one person who seems to constantly be posting. Everyone knows who they are and begins to recognise them as they continue to relentlessly contribute to the proceedings. We’ll call them the BNOOHP.
We’ve spent way too much time on this group and can safely confirm that one guy stood out.
It got to the point when he had developed such a following that he had to surrender his position as BNOOHP.
His fans were traumatised.
Although when he inevitably resurfaced, some were having none of it.
And there we have it.
Look forward to these freshers coming up in October, and everyone remember in future: