The arseholes you’ll come across this term

You’re guaranteed to meet them all, promise

annoying avoid bingo Books Cambridge exam term Exams libary other people people study Studying summer term work working

You can tick them off as if playing a particularly judgemental version of Bingo.

So here we are folks, exam term is upon is, the sweatiest, sunniest and most stressful of the three. For most, the library is already familiar territory. Well it is about to become your second home, if your second home was constantly infiltrated by strangers watching Netflix.

During this time, irritation and therefore sensory arousal is at its peak. Everyone is that much more aware of their surroundings and how day after day the same curious characters feature along with their curious habits.

Here is a list of the kinds of people and behaviours you will come across in the coming weeks. You could use this list as a kind of ‘Where’s Wally’ to identify who in your immediate surroundings fits the following profiles.

Give up already

  1. Streamers and Dreamers

Streaming and dreaming has moved past and habit and is now a way of life for these individuals. Having got hooked on Gossip Girl, Ex on the Beach and Breaking Bad, their time is split between watching and reflecting. Does Rogan really love Jess? Why does she always say she’ll take him back? A question no one will ever really be able to answer and so the streaming, and the dreaming, continues.

Jess he isn’t good enough for you

  1. Space invaders

The library will be cramped so it is simply destiny that there will be someone who comes a sits a bit too close to you with their books and notes spilling onto your side of the table. All star-crossed lovers could do with a bit more distance in order to establish a healthy relationship. Build a small, though substantial, wall of books and re-claim your space. It is the only way you to are going to be able to work side-by-side.

Get away from me

  1. The coughers and the sniffers

Being in the library during exam term is just like being in London during the 17th century – it seems like everyone’s got the plague. Instead of hiding in their rooms with a big red cross marked on their door, they’ve decided to come to the library and soldier on. Embrace their illness and be thankful for free medical attention.

  1. The ones that talk to themselves

In exam term most people become hermits, their beards growing longer, nails reaching unholy lengths, and that’s just your best mate Sally. She’s looked better.

Beard length is directly proportional to exam success

In this current state these people may end up talking to themselves more than they talk to others. This can get confusing, but try and drown out the sound with your own thoughts. If they do your subject though, it can’t hurt to have a listen. Consider it a free lecture.

  1. Humble braggers

The kind of people that come over to you looking stressed stated that they have only done 5 hours’ work and it’s already lunchtime. Appaz they feel like they’re falling behind. “How is your work going?” they ask. You are still recovering from the shock of a double-arrival on ‘Ex on the Beach’ and so do not respond immediately. They soon dash off back to work and you can continue scrolling down the Facebook feed, or checking out the new emojis.

Making you feel oh so inadequate

  1. The 24-hour worker

Whenever you come in they’re there. Whenever you leave, they’re there. You go to get a drink, maybe a snack, they’re still…there. You drop a book, they have never dropped a book. They are the ideal student. There must be an emoji for that? Probably the graduation hat.

Eyes on the prize. (not graduation, but finding the perfect emoji)

With the above list you are equipped to deal with all that the library throws at you. Watch out for these events and characters in the coming weeks, as the ongoing ‘Where’s Wally’ is underway. “I’ve found the Wizard!” you exclaim. Oh wait no, it’s just Sally.