Holly Lunt – Love in Cambridge
This week, HOLLY LUNT wants to talk about love, relationships, sex and poetry.
Hello to everyone reading my third column! This week I want to talk about relationships.
There’s something about Cambridge that makes maintaining a meaningful relationship difficult. I don’t know if it’s the stress of exams, the size of the town, or the fact that people here all do different subjects, but so many couples seem to struggle.
My friend Louisa recently broke up with her boyfriend. They go to different colleges and I think this made things tricky. For instance, in the evening she might have been working while he will have been playing sport. Because of the distance between them they had to communicate via text a lot of the time, and text messages can be easily misinterpreted. I remember I got a text message once which said ‘get up in slow x’. I just didn’t know what to make of it.
I’m still with my boyfriend, Marcus. He’s two years above me and we definitely have a connection. A lot of the time we finish each other’s sentences, other times we just hang out together and relax. He’s a lovely guy and I really hope we stay together when he leaves for the Isle of Wight at the end of the year.
Of course, sex is something that affects us all in Cambridge, and my sex-life with my Marcus has been a bit turbulent. Obviously I’m only allowed to have sex in certain positions, but some of the suggestions he’s made have been disgusting.
Finding someone you’re compatible with is never easy, especially in the bustling Cambridge social scene. What’s worked for me has been really putting myself out there and getting involved in dating. Dating is something that can be fun if you can push past the initial nerves! The one thing I find attractive in guys is confidence, which means I don’t have to approach anyone I could potentially fancy. If they’re confident enough for me to like them then they’ll do the approaching. I think this is a really nice system which makes meeting people I’m compatible with easier and more fun.
It’s always nice to hear things from a guy’s perspective though, and recently a lot of my male friends have been asking me what girls want from their dates. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to give a few pieces of advice to the single guys out there. My top tips are:
1. Don’t just talk about yourself. Show an interest in her.
2. Never be afraid to show a girl what you feel. Girls love it when guys tell them that they like them, even when they don’t like those guys back!
3. Be confident and loud. No-one likes guys who don’t have anything to say, and it’s annoying when shy guys talk quietly so you can’t hear them.
4. Make her feel good about herself. Girls love compliments, but make sure you compliment her personality as well as her looks otherwise things can get cringe.
5. Take risks! No girl wants to have to embarrass herself, and guys who take risks are just that bit more attractive.
I hope that’s of some use to the single guys out there. I’m going to leave you with a love poem that I wrote in my first term. It meant something to me then and I hope it means something to you guys now.
The heart is a closed book
Until it finds a soul
Willing to open it up
And read it.
The soul is a bird
Falling from the sky
Until it finds a soft pair of hands
To grab it.
Lots of love, Holly x