Alastair Campbell: The Man Who Hates Cambridge

Alastair “I honestly don’t care what people call me” Campbell has revealed that, among other things, he has never gone grocery shopping and hated his time at Cambridge. Delivering the first of two lectures as part of his Humanitas Visiting Professorship, Campbell made a variety of controversial remarks to an audience of approximately 200.

When asked why he didn’t enjoy his time at Cambridge, the former spokesman to Tony Blair told The Tab: “I was too young, too chippy. I hated all the posh kids. I always hated private schools and I still do.”

Describing his undergraduate experiencing studying French and German at Caius, he blasted the status quo: “It’s as bad as it was back then.”

He went on to criticise the Oxbridge entrance system, claiming that “state schools “try harder” than Oxbridge to get there students there [but] all the systems have been skewed in favour of established private schools.”

Talking about his newly appointed academic post, the Labour man quipped: “This professorship can’t have been because of my academic prowess, because I did not really set the place alight.”

In another candid admission, Alastair Campbell also admitted he has never been to a supermarket, saying that his wife Fiona Millar, a feminist journalist, did all the shopping.

“I’ve never been in a supermarket, apart from when I did a book signing at Tesco,” he said, continuing on to describe how: “I don’t think I’ve ever been asked who does my shopping. The answer, I am ashamed to say, is Fiona.”

“I’m a bit phobic of consumerism, I hate consumerism. And she’s got better taste than I have.”

In the rest of Campbell’s speech, which was on the future of journalism, he spoke of  “vulgar” media manipulation at the hands of Dacre and Murdoch, commenting “I feel sorry for people who read the Daily Mail. I think ‘Why don’t you just take drugs?’”

Alistair Campbell challenges Paul Dacre to defend his actions in public

“Just ask yourself what those same owners and editors would have to say if any other walk of life had been exposed for so much wrongdoing, given rise to so much public disgust, and then still made a claim to be capable of a self-regulatory system authored by the likes of Paul Dacre.”

He was pleased that  “just for a few days, he [Dacre] was subject to the sort of scrutiny he expects others in powerful positions to endure every day.”

The Tab got in two last questions for Campbell. When asked if he thought Malcolm Tucker was based on him, the response came as a succinct “Fuck yeah.”

“Do you enjoy winding people up?”

“Yes” he replied, with a smirk.