Tab Blind Date: Sarah-Jane and Saul

Tab Blind Date returns with Sarah-Jane and Saul! But did the sibilance ensure sadness or success…

blank canvas Cambridge candle lit dinner Cindies clammy hands cold beds free wine gap-year giraffe harry keen karen made in chelsea mountain romance sarah-jane saul Scotland sparkling conversation Tab tab blind date true love

Sarah-Jane and Saul were the fourth couple to be match made by The Tab.  A pair of well-travelled souls, these two have taken every path life has had to offer them – except the one to the heart. Could a candle-lit dinner at Giraffe join their clammy little hands in union? Read on to find out, and do apply yourself if your bed’s only getting colder with the weather.

———————————————————————————————————

saulgapyearSaul is a second year Art Historian at Emma who, when he was eight, sold brownies for charity and then kept the money and bought himself a packet of custard creams.

Your ideal date?

Someone with little to no personality so I can talk as much as possible. A blank canvas for me to paint on, if you will.

Preconceptions?

The previous blind date was Harry Hurd. And she wasn’t Harry Hurd. So she had a bit of a mountain to climb.

First impressions?

At first I hated her because she was seven minutes late, but when she arrived she had a nose piercing, which meant she’d been to India or Thailand, and as I myself have a love of the open road, I instantly fell in love with her.

What did you talk about?

All sorts of things, we really got on very well. I mean, that was inevitable since we’d both taken gap years. But that wasn’t all! We have a shared love of techno and an unrelated love of irony, combined with a mistrust for very fat people. We discussed the protracted death of the fishing industry in northeast Scotland, that was pretty great. Then a swap came in so we laughed at them and then another swap entered and we laughed some more. Laughs galore.

Best thing about your date?

Joanna, our waitress. An absolute babe, full of hatred for Cambridge students and a passionate love for both the works of Shakespeare and my conversation.

Worst thing about your date?

It wasn’t with Harry Hurd. Did you know he has his own charity? And a topknot. What a guy.

Trajectory of the date?

Consistently high since we’re both such brilliant people. The added level of post-gap year maturity really helped there. Between us we’ve covered every major continent, isn’t that interesting and unusual????

Would you introduce her/him to your friends? 

I have no friends, I prefer to sit in my own company, covered in lemon curd, waiting for the butterflies to come and lick it off.

Could she/he meet your parents?

Meet Dora?? If she was brave enough. She’d have to take out her nose piercing and come on the right day of the right month and on absolutely no account ever be sexually involved with me. Then, perhaps, my mother would like her.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?

If we had but enough time to take a schooner to northeast Scotland, and really get to the bottom of this dearth of fishermen, these brave few soldiering against the elements and Time itself. These modern knights who sail alone to provide we English with our tasty, tasty fish.

Marks out of 10?

1,000,000!!!!!!!!!

Are you going to meet again?

Every night in my dreams.

——————————————————————————————————–


sjgapyearSarah-Jane 
is a third year English student at Murray Edwards who recently starred in a music video with Tina from S-Club 7.

Your ideal date?

One that involves free steak and free wine and sparkling conversation (the free kind). Oh wait, that was this date.

Preconceptions?

One of his profile pictures was of a guy from Made in Chelsea, in a jaunty pose behind a phallic-looking wedding cake. But I don’t know Made in Chelsea or the guys from it and I thought that it was him, and that he looked like a bit of a tosser. Didn’t bode well. But he’s neither the guy from Made in Chelsea nor, mercifully, a tosser. He does like Made in Chelsea though, but I’m not sure how he feels about weddings, despite my subtle yet frequent probing. (For example when I asked him how he felt about church ceremonies that weren’t funerals or christenings or Sunday services, and if he wanted to go with me.)

First impressions?

I was ten minutes late and told him that I was late because I left late, because I didn’t want to be a Keen Karen or an Early Ernest. He confessed that he had done the same thing and wandered around on his phone so that he could be late and texting and seem busy and important. Clearly we were on the same page. He was wearing a cosy jumper and was smiley. Tick, tick, big tick. 

What did you talk about?

All the interesting things ever. We tried to enter into the mind-numbing tedium of stock questions about college/course/year but failed because we were sidetracked by our own overwhelming interestingness as human beings. He opened with the red-wine vomit stain on his wall, and we forayed into our gap yahs, and liking things ironically, and pies. And Made in Chelsea (to name but a few). Crucially we cooked up some incredibly innovative business ideas, which I hope we can revisit. Our ideas about blending savoury meals into smoothies definitely have potential.

Best thing about your date?

That the waitress had to come over about four or five times to try and get us to look at our menus but we kept forgetting because we were talking a lot.

Worst thing about your date

I can’t think of one, so instead I’m going to thank Joanna the Giraffe waitress (as in, the waitress who works at Giraffe, not a waitress who is a giraffe): if you’re reading this Joanna, I’m infinitely appreciative of the second free bottle of wine, and I think that if you follow your dream you’ll make a great professor one day. You can come on a date with me and Saul any time.

Trajectory of the date? 

Up up and away. Down a bit when we had to leave because the restaurant closed and then we lost each other in Wednesday Cindies (which we went to non-ironically).

Would you introduce her/him to your friends?

Yes definitely. In fact I did. In Cindies. To all of my friends and also people who are not my friends. Like the bouncer. And the bar man. They liked him almost as much as I did/do/always will.

Could he meet your parents?

My mum would love him and hate his piercings.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?

A little less Cindies and a little more wine.

Marks out of 10?

9. (ONLY JOKING SAUL, KEEN KAREN GIVES YOU 10)

Are you going to meet again?

Maybe. But any communication between us would be difficult because he has sold his laptop and I have a phone that should have died with the noughties but lives on contrary to everyone’s expectations. We would have to talk face to face like normal people. Or maybe communicate via letters. Or carrier pigeon. Actually that sounds fun. I’ll keep you posted.

——————————————————————————————————–

Sarah-Jane and Saul enjoyed their dinner at Giraffe. If you’d like to participate in The Tab’s next blind date, complete with a FREE meal, please email [email protected] with your name, college, sexuality and a single interesting fact about yourself.