Why I Miss May Week

May Week is swift approaching. You know what else is? Your exams, so get off The Tab and go revise you lazy sack of cold sick.

Anyway, so as you stand there like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming juggernaut, I’m here to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. A lot of light. A whole lot of light. So much light. Light. BANG. HIT BY A JUGGERNAUT.

And as you lie there, blood soaked and beaten, you hear a voice whispering in your ear… “Nick… Nick…” What is that noise? Who is that speaking? Is it an angel? No, it isn’t. You awake to find that you’re not covered in blood but actually just cheap, rancid Cava from Aldi and you were never actually hit by a juggernaut – that was just a metaphor. Your best mate is standing there, or maybe your second best mate, and they want to go somewhere and chill with you, because YOU HAVE EARNT IT. So where to? Where do you go?

NUMBER 5 – THE CAMBRIDGE BLUE

If you can’t drink with one, why not drink at one?

My number 5 is number 5 not because it isn’t great, but because it’s quite far out. For those of you brave enough to venture there, it really is one of the most amazing pubs in the world. Situated on Gwydir Street, just down Mill Road, The Cambridge Blue is the best real ale pub ever. It also does good spirits and wines, but the beers – it has about a gazillion, so you will literally never get bored unless you’re with boring people. The garden is alright, bit of a let down but it has a cool hut in it – here’s my mate Toby eating in it:

NUMBER 4 – TRINITY BACKS

Trinity backs are beautiful, and open to the public. Just grab a few drinks and a sandwich from ol’ Sainsbugs and head over for a perfect break to revision/life. Sit and watch as punters breeze past, spurting crap like “this is where Jack from Titanic learnt to swim”… we all know he never learnt to swim.

The only down side to this area is the fact that there are LOADS of tourists. And they have cameras – video cameras – and they will film you. Mind you, if you want to end up on some crazy regional Chinese television show, this is the place to be. Also note that there are loads of cute little goslings.

NUMBER 3 – THE FORT ST. GEORGE

Better K Middy than P Diddy

Located on the river on Midsummer Green, The Fort St. George is perfect for just getting away from it all on a sunny day. It is idyllic and romantic, not to mention that it has actually been graced by the royals too – rumour has it that K Middy’s baby was actually conceived here… Again, a little bit far out for some, but definitely worth the amble across Jesus Green. A high end Greene King pub so reasonable on the drinks front and great for food. I love this place.

NUMBER 2 – THE MILL

If you’re looking for somewhere to mill around…

Great little pub at the end of Mill Lane, just behind the Anchor. Seriously, don’t bother with the Anchor now this place is up and running again. There is no real outside seating so what they do is give you a plastic pint and you can wonder out and sit on the walls of the bridge or wander over into sheer bliss. The food here is great, if a little bit pricey, and the drinks menu is amazeballs. Too many people walk past here without trying it out. You have to. It’s beautiful.

NUMBER 1 – THE GRANTA MOUND

Large amounds of fun

Don’t go to the Granta pub, there is absolutely no point. Instead, grab some drinks and food from the petrol station just round the corner and head out to the other side of the river from the Granta. This is a very special place, great to chill at in the evenings too. I know it’s not really a hidden gem and you’ve probably heard of it, but check it out if you haven’t – get a picnic together and just relax. Cheap fun is the best kind of fun.

Christ, I miss summer…