Hall From Hell

Hiatt Baker resident tells The Tab about shocking living conditions

I was one of the fair-weather followers of democracy who, after voting for reduced Hiatt Baker fees, proceeded to leave halfway through the AMM meeting last week.

I’m not proud of myself, but I felt a lot cleaner doing it than I do when I cross the border back into Hiatt Baker. Critics can say what they like, but none of them haven’t experienced the dereliction I wake up to every day.

Another beautiful day in God’s country…

I know that beauty is on the inside. A comparison between Wills and Hiatt Baker is proof of that. But it cannot be denied that, aesthetically, the latter is verging on disgusting.

It’s a sprawling mess of mud, monstrously modern masonry and tired, weather-beaten concrete.

Then the builders arrived and made it even worse.

Hardly the most scenic of views

From my mighty perch in F3, where my window commands a view of rich greenery and wildlife, I have less to complain about than others.

I cannot say I have ‘decided to get changed and found the builders pressed up against my window, drinking a Coke’, nor have I ever ‘had to walk over to the window, only wearing pants, to shut the curtains’ in an attempt to preserve some modesty, as was the case with Ella Roeg from B1.

However, I have experienced other effects, and they made me very, very cross. Well, cross enough to get out of bed to vote. Not cross enough to set myself alight in protest.

Hard to know what’s more disgusting: rats or pervy builders

On several occasions I have tried to talk to people I once considered friends, only to find my words pass through a shadow of their former selves. It’s not their fault though: their mouths are too tired and their minds too beat to reply.

We’re all sleep deprived, all thanks to the pneumatic alarm-clock which, without fail, pounds it’s bass-y tones at 8 o’clock each morning.

I have seen the D-block rats, which crawl out of their hole to snaffle small morsels of left-over snacks. Could it be sheer coincidence they appeared when the builders started upon their path of destructive construction?

Or could it be because their humble homes have been destroyed by the diggers and drills, forcing them to relocate? I’m no environmentalist, but I know migration when I see it.

Sadly, it’s not only the rats that have had to move. Hiatt Bakerites are being forced, by the dozens, into the libraries to seek refuge from the daily bombardments of sound. There’s so many of us anyone would think we were all fleeing a war-torn nation, not our halls of residence.

HB students don’t feel welcome in their own hall

Tom Francis, member of the JCR, says that ‘everyone should just get on with it’. But how can we when we know that last year they paid around £300 less than us but without the construction?

Also, let’s not forget; whining like a playground bitch might be enough to help save us money to spend on more typical student pursuits.