All the joys of living in Selly right now

Selly has as much excitement going for it as the postman delivering another ASOS parcel

With the third lockdown underway and Old Joe STILL pointing at 12 o clock (if our students loans are gonna pay for anything, I’d rather Joe was prioritised instead of another building that takes 10 years to make), it is safe to say our lives have quite literally taken a standstill.

The only excitement is the main character feels from living a real life Groundhog Day (Bill Murray’s got nothing on our classic routine of doing absolutely nothing).

There’s not been much activity but now most students seem to be coming back, Selly is becoming less of a ghost town. For those of you dreaming of returning here’s an idea of what you’ll come back to:

Snow making Selly sparkle

Selly has had the biggest glow up of its life. It is remarkable how if most of Selly is covered up, the added charm is enough to forget the noise pollution and deprivation which draws so many students to live here.

The abundance of snowmen making, sledging and snowball fights is the most action Selly has seen since the last sports night. Using your housing agencies ‘To Let’ sign as a makeshift sledge is improvisation at its finest; cost effective AND up-cycling at the same time (who says our degrees are going to waste?).

Needless to say, the pretty white stuff kept us occupied for the days it lasted; here’s hoping there’s more to come!

Scooters letting us relive our childhood dreams

New to Brum, these scooters have become as common as Dominos offering student deals every week; one step outside the house and you will be greeted by at least one of these bad boys.

Aside from feeling like your hands have developed frostbite, these scooters are the bigger and badder version of our former childhood scooters – at last our ankles are safe from the crippling pain that forms an unforgettable part of our childhood trauma.

The only problem with these scooters is the curfew, which means any dreams of perusing around Selly in the late night hours have been trampled on. However, considering parking the scooter requires the strength of Jack Grealish’s right foot, and with the night making this even more challenging, it may be a good thing.

Download Voi, get yourself on a smooth surface and you’ll have the wind in your hair in no time.

Library bookings having us forever longing for a night out

Can we just talk about how the uni are making us book the library via eventbrite? A website dedicated to selling tickets for events we CANNOT go to? The whole process is a little bit triggering.

However, on the bright side, campus is open for students to study which means you won’t be limited to the confines of your house. January had campus feeling a little empty but semester two is sure to receive an influx of students who have surpassed the amount of time they can endure living at home.

Takeaways to have you dreaming of pre-lockdown restaurant trips

Got nothing planned for the day? A takeaway is assured to take your day from a two to a ten. Make your way through all the takeaway places Selly has to offer. From Pizza Land to, we are spoilt for choice.

Although, I think it is safe to say Dixies does not hit the same sober. Things are looking up for Selly’s takeaway options: Ciao Bella appears to be a promising addition to the dessert places and our beloved Dilshads is upping the stakes with a refurbishment.

Food shops that have you acting like you’re part of the CIA

Food occupies a good percentage of thoughts and why wouldn’t it? When boredom strikes, food is the one thing that will always be there for us. Late night food trips will forever be a tradition; the thrill of the night and what Tesco reductions are gonna bring us literally beckons us from our homes.

Of course, it would be rude to ignore the pride and joy of Selly… Aldi and its bargains. If you miss the airport feels of going on holiday, go to Aldi and enjoy the experience of security making you feel like you are smuggling something suss into the shop. Recently they have introduced a restriction to the number of people allowed in from the same household which has you looking even more conspicuous in your attempt to ignore your housemates.

Of course this facade drops as soon as you pass security and continue whatever conversation you had as if they can’t see. Group trips to Aldi just aren’t the same when you have to pretend your housemate is someone you have never seen before rather than someone whose hair you pulled back the other night whilst they were chucking up a bottle of wine.

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