All the reasons that you’re single this Valentine’s Day
Truth hurts hun
It's every singleton's favourite time of year again, the annual celebration of the fact that no one loves you and you are most certainly going to be forever alone. So whilst you cry into your tub of Ben & Jerry's, prepare to feel personally attacked by the following.
Too Much Solitary Netflixing
If you spend your life holed up in your room watching Netflix, tempting as that may be, frankly the only love in your life is going to be your laptop.
And as far as cute texts from bae, the 'are you still watching' mesage is going to be the closest you're going to get to that too.
Coming on too strong
Whilst you might start envisaging marriage and contemplating your future baby names with your unsuspecting date after knowing them for a few weeks it probably isn't the best move to share this with them. The same goes for double and triple texting. I mean really your thirsty vibes can be felt radiating through the phone.
The Ghosts of Hookups Past…
Still waiting for that week old Fab hookup to text you back? Well it's really no wonder that your're single then is it. Learn how to take a hint! Your brief encounter under Old Joe might have been cute for its 5 minute duration but its best to leave that in the past and maintain your dignity before you succumb to sending a follow up text.
Old Joemance Hunting
Another reason for your singleton status is the time you spend walking round the library in your 'breaks' in the hopes that someone writes an Old Joemance about you. Again, this is not a good look.
Your Resting Bitch Face
Whilst the dreaded resting bitch face might be a widespread affliction, that doesn't mean that you look any less miserable as you travel around campus. So it goes without saying.. lighten up a bit hun.
Despite all this, if you are single this Valentines Day it's fine because ultimately men are trash so it's probably for the best if you spend this very 'special' day with your gal pals instead xo