Combatting House Conflicts

We take a look at common house arguments… try some of The Tab’s best ways of getting sweet revenge

We’re well into the new semester, so The Tab’s sure  that, by now, most of  our dear readers will have had one or two minor disagreements (or fully-fledged domestics) with their housemates.

To help you along with the sweet, sweet revenge (because sometimes screaming ‘PISS OFF’ just won’t cut it), we’ve put together a shortlist of things that always cause evil glares and sarcastic comments, not to mention those ‘indirect’ bitchy tweets that start to clog up your feed.

Never fear though, for help is at hand. We’ve also come up with a few solutions to save you from housing hell.

‘What are we?!! A Premier Inn?!’

Sleeping Beauty

The age-old debate when morning comes of “who is this on our sofa?” and “do any of us actually know him?”. Maybe it’s a Fab victim who’s lost his keys, an innocent (or failed) “sleepover” or an actual stranger… in which case you probably should re-evaluate your house security.

Combat Tips: Hop in for a cheeky spoon. The sofa squatter will either get the fright of his life or a nice, intimate cosy way to wake up that may just lead to forking.

‘Not-gun washing up’

‘Should we eat out?’

With everything going on at uni, it’s easy to forget to do the washing up. But when the pile gets so high that your already minuscule kitchen appears to be disappearing under a mountain of pasta remnants, it’s probably time to sort out the cleaning rota. Or, you know, would it be that bad to use the same plate for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Your call.

Combat Tips: Be very economical with your dish use. Where possible eat out of the container that your food comes in, even if this means you find yourself pouring milk into a cereal box.

Things that go bump in the night

It’s bad enough to be rudely awoken by your housemate and whoever their newest ‘friend’ is, but it’s even worse when they proceed to move around the house. Shower sex? Now we wish we had an en-suite.

Combat Tips: Grab your own buddy and turn it into a competition. It’s a race to the best spots in the house, literally a case of you snooze, you lose. For the more lacklustre among you, just get yourself a pair of ear plugs.

If I hear that song one more time…

It always seems that it’s the housemates with the worst taste in music that insist on blaring it the loudest. No matter how many times you tell them to turn it down, it really is necessary that they play Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball at all times of the day.

Combat Tips: Embrace the cheese; after all it’s just like Risa at home. What more could you want?!

Daylight robbery

Outrage in the kitchen

The day has finally arrived – you’ve left yourself enough time in the morning to have breakfast before running out the door. You pour yourself a bowl of cereal, head to the fridge, reach for the milk and… nothing. You could have sworn it was full yesterday. Looks like another soggy cereal bar that’s been in the bottom of your bag since last Christmas is on the menu.

Combat Tips: Start an eclectic diet. Chilli in orange juice… last night’s vodka in the milk… pretty sure you’ll soon be the only one going anywhere near the fridge.