If you do 19/24 of these things after graduating you’re officially a posh girl

We’ve done plenty of posh girl quizzes about uni bedrooms and wardrobe choices. But the rah-where’s-my-baccy lifestyle doesn’t vanish just because you’ve handed in your dissertation. No, even after you’ve graduated there are still blonde-highlighted, Mini-driving, Adanola-wearing posh girls roaming about in the wild. And there are 24 tell-tale signs you’re one of them.

Stomping around Clapham in linen trousers, layers of Monica Vinader necklaces and a vintage bandeau she found on Vinted, the posh girl grad can be identified through her Longchamp office bag, Club Pret membership and crippling addiction to boutique gym classes she discovered through Class Pass.

If you’re thinking this sounds a lot like you as you venture, for the first time, into your young professional era, then you need to consult our glaring list of reasons you’re a posh grad girl. Because, honestly, only posh girls can afford the rent in South West London.

1. You go on holiday for fourth months straight before starting your grad job

Philippines? South America? Asia? Doesn’t matter. You’re out of here before your dad cuts you off and you have to sell your soul to the corporate ladder for the foreseeable future.

2. You get your first flat in Clapham/Battersea

The Surrey school to Russell Group Uni to Clapham grad scene pipeline is STRONG and you’re ready to embrace all of those stereotypes. Your new flat has everything your uni accom did (fairy lights, champagne bottles rammed with candles for dinner parties) but it’s just a little cleaner.

Because, you know, you’re an adult now.

3. You make Infernos your entire personality

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There’s only one club for the fresh-to-Clapham posh girl: Infernos. You’ll see everyone from your boarding school, uni sports socials and grad scheme all at once. You’ll forget you’re not at uni and snog half the club within the first week before realising how horrifyingly small the SW London dating pool really is.

4. You’re regularly seen queuing outside Cafe Sol in linen trousers

When you can’t manage the strength for Infernos you head next door to Cafe Sol. The uniform is linen trousers (thrifted or M&S), more jewellery than seems possible to hang on your tiny frame, a wavey top from Depop and your Air Force 1s. Despite paying to get in, you’ll spend most of your night in the smoking area asking hot guys for a filter.

5. You go to the Pear Tree Cafe every Sunday like it’s church

When the suns out, so are you and the most likely place you’ll be found is the Pear Tree Cafe in Battersea Park mainlining a bottle of AIX rosé.

6. You go to The Ship every bank holiday even though you secretly think it’s shit

Undeniably the worst pub in London. But you saw Montana from Love Island there once and all the hot boys seem to go so, that’s you sold. Sometimes, you still buy tickets for club nights on Resident Advisor and take pictures on your film camera to balance your vibes out.

7. You start hosting elaborate dinner parties and call them supper clubs

When you’re not morbidly hungover, you’re busy trying to prove to yourself you are, in fact, an adult. And that newfound maturity is manifesting itself in your cooking skills. Ottolenghi, The Roasting Tin. There’s no salad you won’t add pine nuts to. No feta you won’t whip. Friends have started calling you Nigella. Waitrose is your nearest shop.

8. Every room in your house has a White Company diffuser and a cosy throw blanket

Plush throw pillows, designer diffusers— you’ve hit the home furnishings hard with the help of your moving-in team (mum and dad).

9. You join the local netball team for fun but still get really competitive

Your Wing Attack energy wasn’t getting left behind at Uni, let’s be honest.

10. You’ve developed a GAIL’s and Joe and the Juice addiction

Is the Pret era over? Of course, it isn’t. But GAIL’s spinach and feta rolls are just SO. GOOD. And you’d never recover from your hangover without a Joe and the Juice smoothie. It’s the posh person’s Lucozade.

11. You have a list of restaurants on your phone to visit but still wind up at Megan’s

Everyone keeps telling you there are really cool eating options in Hackney and Dalston but, honestly, where the fuck is that? Instead, you opt for bottomless brunch at Megan’s on the reg or another venue minutes away from your front door to be on the safe side if they’re all booked up.

12. You constantly complain about the state of the Sloane Square Zara

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In your uni city, the Zara was civilised and organised. But in London (even though your nearest store is in Chelsea) going high street shopping is absolute warfare. In the end, you give up on Zara altogether and opt for And Other Stories and Cos as your grad salary starts to roll in.

13. You start weaselling your way into Soho House

If you’re not already a member, you start to seek out friends who are. You need those half-price Picantes and you need them now.

14. You join Raya

Hinge isn’t cutting it anymore. Literally, all the Made in Chelsea boys are on there but you already have a history with them. No, it’s time for a really famous boyfriend. The kind on invite-only apps. Apps, like Raya. Your friend from Soho House gets you in, obv.

15. You develop an increasing obsession with espresso martinis

Apparently, espresso martinis were invented when a model flew into London, went to a bar and said “I want something that’ll wake me up and fuck me up”. This is, anyway, the story you tell everyone as you order a round of them. Adding that it’s “totally devastating” Cafe Patron was discontinued or you’d get some shots too. Sob.

16. You run away to your parent’s house in the home counties the second things get tough

Before you graduated you thought “I really need to get out of London” was just something people said for the storyline on Made in Chelsea. But it turns out, you really do need to get out of London. And, if it’s not the home counties, it’s your second home in Spain to start working on your perma tan.

17. You start training for a marathon with absolutely no experience

You’ve never really been into running but since everyone graduated suddenly Strava feels like the new Instagram. You figure asking for charitable donations would be a nice, heartwarming, way of demanding attention and put your name in the running for the London marathon on the same evening as ordering your first pair of Hokas.

18. You own at least four Adanola hoodies

What is the choke hold this brand has on you? You have no idea. They all seem to shrink in the washing machine, anyway. But Sophie Habboo always seems to be wearing one. So, they’re good enough for you.

19. You stop sticking posters on your walls and start ‘investing in art’

This is essentially just something pretentious you like to say at dinner parties. Mostly, you still get all your prints from Etsy, put them in an Ikea frame and hope for the best. No one needs to know that, though.

20. You do four boutique gym classes per week

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Spinning at Psycle, HIIT at Barry’s BootCamp, personal training at F45 – whatever it is, your £70 Class Pass subscription gets you in. And, obv, you’ve got a full wardrobe of matching sets from LuLu Lemon and Sweaty Betty to attend in. Otherwise, what would be the actual point?

21. You download Borrow My Doggy every time a boy makes you sad

The city can get soul-destroying and, every time you’re hungover and left on read by the Hinge boy from last night, you download Borrow My Doggy to kidnap someone’s puppy for the day in an attempt to make you feel loved again. When that doesn’t work, you just carry on swiping.

22. Thursday drinks are the best part of your week

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The Ned, Leadenhall Market, Spitalfields— it doesn’t matter where you wind up. The city boys are out in their gillets in force and it’s doing something to you.

23. You develop a fairly substantial 3AM habit to keep up with your lifestyle

“Have you got any good numbers?” becomes your round-robin Whatsapp every weekend.

24. Your mini uggs and Ralph jumpers will forever be an integral part of your wardrobe

They’re never, ever, going in the bin.

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