Apprentice power ranking: Nautical barometers and endless Brighton blunders

If there’s one thing that you can guarantee will be a constant and consistent laugh, it’s the fabled Apprentice fetch quest week. The one where Sugar sends them to kingdom come to buy a load of random items that you’ve never heard of for the cheapest price possible – a week of scatty mayhem and frenzy where the candidates undercut each other in the chaotic rush to secure the bits and secure the bag. We’re up to week four now, and The Apprentice power ranking for 2023 is showing no signs of getting any better.

14. Mark

Do you wanna stop barging over the top of the girls for me, doll?

13. Bradley

I’d literally fire myself.

12. Denisha

This firing was a long time coming, if we’re being honest. She hath not been giving, and her firing felt like an inevitability rather than a possibility.

11. Reece

The more we get to know him, the more I don’t like. Bad vibes! Be warned!

10. Simba

‘Maps are before our time’. MAPS. ARE. BEFORE. OUR TIME.

9. Shazia

Love this icon quite a lot actually, but she kicked off the “maps are before our time” discourse and was a bit too excited about going to see Only Fools And Horses the musical, which is to me more a punishment than a treat.

8. Avi

Sigh. We go again. I am charmed by this little pest but I do not reward people who rob sales! Theft!

7. Rochelle

I really want her to do something extremely slay and iconic as a matter of urgency or I fear her days may be a bit numbered.

6, 5, 4. Marnie, Megan and Sohail

I’ve watched this week four Brighton episode twice over now and I could not tell you one thing either of these three did to differentiate themselves on The Apprentice 2o23 power ranking. But with this lot, that’s probably a compliment. Just be grateful I’m not pissed off, really.

3. Victoria

She keeps losing, but never stops slaying. Like, I root for her – AT ALL TIMES. This is what happens when you’re good vibes and Scouse. The world falls in love with ya!

2. Joe

Oh to kiss a pair of resin Joe lips.

1. Dani

The icon levels run so deep – it’s wild. If she doesn’t win I’ll be so shocked, and feel like Alan is really on her wavelength. They have a good rapport!

Thus concludes The Apprentice 2023 power ranking week four! The show continues at 9pm on Thursdays, on BBC One and iPlayer. For all the latest reality TV news, gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.

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