How to actually kiss a girl, by girls who are done with washing machine-tongued boys

One of the first thing you ask when your friend gets with a new guy is "was he a good kisser???" Every girl knows the answer to this question will determine whether they'll pursue them further, or leave them in the dust.

Because a sad fact of life is, not all boys are is a masters of kissing. Some use too much tongue and basically lick your face for five minutes, others don't understand the concept of pressure, and others don't go any further than a peck.

So as well as teaching the men of this world how to finger a girl, play with her boobs and go down on her, we've asked girls of the UK to explain how to give a decent kiss.

Alex

So much about kissing is down to the anticipation. Looking into each other’s eyes, the slow head lean, the hand cupping the face, the tentative kiss at first and then applying pressure. It sounds cliche, and it is. But there’s a reason it’s in all the movies – because it WORKS. And watch out for the signs: if she’s looking into your eyes and biting/licking her lips, she wants you.

Never go straight in with your tongue, cos seriously, how many people actually want to be probed with someone else’s tongue when they’ve just started kissing? Literally no one. In fact, I’d say leave most of your tongue work for when it gets really passionate, like during sex. Although even then there are better things you could be doing with your tongue *hint hint*. Keep it smooth, keep it sensual, slowly graze her tongue with yours every so often, nibble her lip. Run your hands through her hair, even pull it a little bit. You need to make sure that your body language shows your super into it, otherwise she’s just gonna get bored.

Caitlin

I guess it really depends on who the guy is, if it’s someone you care about then I think it’s all about the hands: a hand on the face or back of the neck is always caring and intimate, and combined with the right amount of anticipation in the right environment, can be one of the loveliest things in the world. Kissing someone you’re actually interested in for the first time should never be too public in my opinion, that doesn’t mean you need to go back to theirs, but somewhere a bit more secluded is always more intimate.

If it’s in a club and you’re just looking for a pull – different story: a bit more passion is a given. Don’t spend the night trying to build up too much anticipation (that doesn’t mean to just stick a tongue down their neck), because we get bored. But a good amount of pressure is fine, and a hand on the small of the back is standard – don’t grab the arse straight away (or at all to be honest, you’re in a club), but if you do make sure she’s enjoying it.

At the end of the day, a kiss is a conversation, start slow and progress at a speed natural to the person you’re kissing by paying attention to the other person. Dip your toe in the water with everything you do, i.e. try a bit of tongue over her bottom lip before forcing it down her tonsils, patience goes a long way.

Lauren

The thing about kissing, is that as soon as it goes wrong you’re immediately put off. Too much tongue? They’re a washing machine. No passion? Boring as fuck. Loads of small kisses without building tension? Definitely shit in bed. You see, without the perfect start – a kiss – you’re ruined.

So, much like the other girls, I agree with building it up. Put your hand delicately behind their neck, go in slowly, start with just a nice soft kiss and then begin for the passion. Do not go into tongue action straight away. That’s a recipe for disaster. Bit of open mouth kissing, tiny bit of lip biting and then put some tongue in there. And I know it sounds ridiculous, but obviously not TOO much tongue. If you get the kiss right, I promise your in for a treat.

Once the tongue action gets involved is when you can really heat it up. Start touching her leg, putting your hand on her lower back, maybe stop the kissing and put a peck on her neck. Trust me, you can tell when someone is loving it. And if you can’t tell? Refer back to the previous paragraphs and start again because you’ve either rushed it or your being too bland.

Kissing is like a simple maths equation. First glance, it doesn’t seem so bad. But once you start opening up the fractions you realise it’s WAY deeper than initially thought. But, there is an answer, and boy if you find the answer, you’re in for a RIDE.

Sunnii

From what I’ve heard, boys tell each other that large open mouth kissing is the shit. It is not. There is nothing worse than having a guy try to eat your face off and thinking it's sexy when your lips are sucked in, their tongue darts in and out like a snake and they call that ‘kissing’.

For a girl to really go back in for more, you have to follow and obey a pace and progress slowly, give her some bait with a bit of tongue and a little nibble here and there. The minute you feel you’re losing her lips in the process, stop, and go back to stage 1. Look at her again, guide her chin to the left and then you can lock lips once more.

You want a girl to feel passion when you kiss her, even on a one night stand. There’s a complete difference between making her want more and shoving her up against a wall straight away, but the spark has to be lit when you make out. Follow these tips and I’m sure you won’t be sleeping alone for much longer.

Lucy

Kissing is all about going in slow and building it up. Never go straight in with your tongue lurching at my open mouth, instead just kiss me on the lips with some decent pressure and hold for like, a second. It’s then when you can start teasing your tongue in a bit more.

Never kiss quickly, like your tongue swirling round and round and saliva going anywhere. If anything it’ll leave me feeling slightly terrified, with my mouth wetter than my downstairs (which is the wrong way round if you’re doing it right). The best kissers are those who mix it up between different pressures and amount of tongue – if you stick to the same routine, we won’t be locking lips again.

A bit of lip biting is fine, emphasis on a bit but only in certain situations, like before sex or during. And by lip biting, I don’t mean taking a chomp, but a teenie nibble. Pls do not leave me with a fat lip.

Maddy

If you really know how to kiss someone you know that it’s about more than just two mouths bashing together. No I’m not talking about some spiritual connection – it’s the other stuff you do while you’re kissing that’s ESSENTIAL. Hand on the inner thigh? Amazing. One of those cute little nose nudges, on occasion? I’m melting.

Use your hands. Hands in hair is good, hands on the waist/small of the back is nice, hands on face is intimate. If it’s really sexy kissing then alternate between my lips and my neck, ear etc. And for God’s sake don’t lead with the tongue even if you’re drunk, this isn’t hentai.

The best kiss situations are the ones where you probably shouldn’t be kissing, like it’s kinda secret or forbidden for some reason, because sexual tension will reach it’s max. Also, the Gossip Girl Chuck/Blair first kiss scene is the template against which I judge all of my kisses so try and top that or you’ll disappoint me.