Oscar Williams-Grut
St. John's, History Oscar prides himself on his ability to organise clandestine trysts with military precision. In his spare time, he collects articles about Justin Bieber, in a vain attempt to shed his beaver image and emulate Bieber’s style. When he’s not organising and styling, Oscar enjoys watching programmes about habitually dysfunctional families and corresponding with his friends’ mothers. He’s also a breakdancing pro, and has an unshakable passion for paint.

‘There are downsides to going to St John’s’: Why students hate me for being a Johnian

OSCAR WILLIAMS-GRUT admits being scorned by supervisors and ignored by neighbours as a direct result of his college.

Girton Spring Ball

OSCAR WILLIAMS-GRUT is wowed by Girton’s fairytale Spring Ball, complete with swings, sushi and Sailor Jerry’s.

David Leigh Resigns As Union President

The Union have announced that David Leigh is resigning as President-elect for Easter term due to “academic reasons.”

John’s Chocolate Cock-Up

John’s have been accused of “equating female experience with Dairy Milk” after giving female students chocolate to mark International Women’s Day.

Kony 2012 Shows How Little We Care

Kony 2012 risks becoming a triumph of social networking rather than social consciousness.

Torrents and Plunder: Piracy Rife In Cambridge

INVESTIGATION: We reveal over 250 reported cases of piracy since 2010, and there’s evidence of more going unpunished.

The Cambridge Fetish Scene: “BDSM is like being gay 20 years ago”

OSCAR WILLIAMS-GRUT sits down with “Mr Glove” to talk roleplay, forced orgasm and the Cambridge fetish scene.

Unions Battle It Out For Golden Balls

The Oxford and Cambridge Unions are battling it out to snag David Beckham as a guest speaker.

Swanning About Sidgwick

Stupid swans stopped traffic by the Sidgwick site on Friday after settling down for a kip in the road.

Girton Boy Bottles It

A Girton student was carted off by the cops on Wednesday after bottling another student in Cindies.

Downing It

Downing Students have been warned of the dangers of excessive drinking after a fresher almost DIED earlier this term.

Miss World Beauties Hit The Union

Cambridge played host 122 Miss Worlds on Friday, when they visited The Union to talk about female empowerment, charity work, and looking really fit.

Images Released Of Cambridge’s Rioters

Police have released 8 CCTV images of suspects from Tuesday’s attempted raid on the Grafton centre. Four have been arrested, but others are still out there. Can you help identify them?

Cambridge Cops In The Capital

Riot police from Cambridgeshire police force were called to London last night to help tackle the worst bout of violence in the capital since the Brixton Riots.

Will They? Won’t They?

A vote of no confidence in Uni Minister David Willetts ended in a dead heat after barmy boffins failed to make up their minds.

Sidney Set To Soar In Redbull Flugtag

Four Engineers from Sidney have qualified for this year’s Redbull Flugtag, entering a plane shaped like a boat in honour of their Cambridge background

Sports Complex Gets The Green Light

Funding has finally been secured for a University Sports Complex, with organisers hoping to have some facilities up and running by 2013.

Vomville & Caius

Students at Gonville & Caius think the stomach bug that hit the college this week could be linked to their college’s hall, after it received one of the worst hygiene ratings in Cam.

Goodbye Gil Scott-Heron

OSCAR WILLIAMS-GRUT pays tribute to softly-spoken creative genius Gil Scott-Heron in the wake of his death last week, and laments the departure of a man who dissociated himself from the lazy, apolitical rap genre, and leaves it in much the same state today.

Exclusive: Two And A Half Grand Practical Joke

The winning bid of £2,550 for two tickets to John’s May Ball was in fact a practical joke played on a student by friends.

John’s Library Too Popular

Students from other colleges are being turfed out of St John’s Library because it’s proving too popular.

Sidney Students Face TV Fines

Students at Sidney have been caught watching TV without a license and could face court and a fine of up to £1,000.

Exclusive: Tinchy Stryder Number 1 At Clare

Tinchy Stryder will play Clare May Ball, while Jakwob will play Robinson according to the two artist’s Myspace pages.

Exclusive: Chase & Status Headline Downing

The Tab can exclusively reveal that drum & bass duo Chase & Status will headline this year’s Downing May Ball.

John’s Pay To Babysit Boozers

St John’s College plan to pay students to look after drunken peers during May week. Money to fund the scheme could come from fines to drunk students.

The Cambridge Companion To Voting Reform

With only hours until the referendum you’ve all been waiting for, The Tab is here to navigate you across the tempestuous seas of voting reform.

King’s Monarchy Madness

King’s College have caught royal wedding fever and plan to hold not one but three royal wedding parties to mark the big day.

The Queen Can’t Cut It

1,000s turned out to see the Queen during her visit to Cambridge yesterday, but embarrassingly she struggled to cut the cake at John’s garden party.

Liz And Phil Have Knees Up For John’s 500th

The Queen and Prince Philip will pay a visit to Cambridge a week on Wednesday to open new science labs and celebrate the 500th birthday of St. John’s.

Exclusive: CUCA Chair Accused Of Homophobia

The outgoing-Cambridge Conservative Association Chair has been accused of homophobia for comments made on his Facebook page.

Boat Race Xchange Sponsors

The Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race have been left looking for a new sponsor after current sponsors Xchanging said they were pulling out.

The Tab Do Doxbridge Part 3: The Finale

In the final instalment, the Tab team go toe-to-toe with a beer bong, get written on, review abs and sleep through the sports.

The Tab Do Doxbridge: Part 2

On day 2 The Tab’s fearless reporters encounter cheerleaders, Guinness and an International hockey match.

The Tab Do Doxbridge: Part 1

Two fearless Tab reporters have taken it upon themselves to experience the challenge that is Doxbridge. Sport, Lash and Craic. YOU tell them what to do to next.

UPDATE: Protestors Lawn-ch Senate House Camp

Protesters have grown tired of their grassroots campaign and called off their lawn occupation after just two nights.

Queens’ And Clare Ents In Trouble

Traditionally two of Cambridge’s biggest ents, Queens’ and Clare Ents face a serious rethink after suffering for terrible attendance this term.

EXCLUSIVE: Parmar: “It wasn’t a dirty campaign”

Julian Parmar, who dropped out of the runnings for Union president yesterday, talks exclusively to The Tab about why he dropped out.

Tully Takes Top Spot At CUSU

Gerard Tully has been elected the next President of CUSU.

VC Rejects CUSU Graces

The Vice Chancellor has rejected CUSU’s petitions on bursaries claiming they are “in substance and effect incompatible” with proposed fees.

You Will Go To The Ball!

John’s are raffling and auctioning off tickets to their May Ball at its launch party tonight, giving non-Johnians a chance to go.

Zing Who?

An imaginary candidate called Zing Xhu ran in the Peterhouse JCR elections last week, and beat two real people.

Where’s Willetts?

Uni Minister David Willetts played a game of cat-and-mouse with protesters last night, as he tried to avoid them interrupting his talk in Cambridge.

Kings Of Banter

King’s students have set up the King’s College Lads’ Union to offer a more banterous alternative to KCSU.

Unis Left To “Fly Blind” Over Tuition Fees, Say Oxbridge

Over 600 Oxbridge academics have signed an open letter to the Government calling for a public inquiry into tuition fees.

“Poor Us” Say Private Schools

The union of private schools’ head teachers has said the Government shouldn’t tell universities to “discriminate against” privately educated students.

Exclusive: Facebook Fitty App Faces Rival

A Cambridge undergrad has created a new site to rival Social Harpoon called Fitsort which also lets you rank how hot your Facebook friends are.

Huppert: “Education Should Be Free”

MP Julian Huppert said Lib Dems were still committed to scrapping tuition fees last week, but one audience member called him a “liberal bastard”.

Police In Punch Up With Protestors

The police have been accused of brutality after they pepper sprayed one student and allegedly hit another over the head during yesterday’s protests.

Tab Tries: Breakdancing

OSCAR WILLIAMS-GRUT tests his street cred when he tries to have a dance-off with group Sin Cru.

Uni Minister: Max Fees Will Look “Silly”

University Minister David Willetts said top unis would look ‘silly’ if they opt to charge the maximum fees while others offer the same services at a lower price.

“Protests Don’t Work”: Student Provokes Turmoil on TV

A Wolfson student provoked an intense backlash last week after appearing on 10 O’Clock Live claiming “Protests actually don’t work.”

Gardi’s Turn 50!

Cambridge’s favourite kebab house celebrates its 50th birthday this year.

Gilmour Charged With Royal Attack

Girtonian Charlie Gilmour appeared in court last week charged with throwing a bin at Prince Charles’ car.

Royal Holiday? Don’t Bank On It

Uni Offices will be closed for the royal wedding, but students will still be expected to go to lectures and exams, despite an official Bank Holiday.

Girls Stood Up As Too Few Boys Do RAG

After too few men signed up for RAG Blind Date, many of Cambridge’s women were left alone on Tuesday night.

‘Not So Fast’ Says Clegg

Nick Clegg has told Cambridge and Oxford that it’s “not up to them” to decide whether or not they should charge £9,000 tuition fees.

Valentine’s Ball Leaves Union Broken Hearted

The Cambridge Union have replaced their annual Valentine’s Ball with a more informal event due to unusually low ticket sales.

Birds Fly Into Cambridge

Mysterious posters of birds have appeared across Cambridge today, ruffling some feathers.

UPDATE: Fancy Being Fired?

Staff at Cambridge are being offered the chance to apply for redundancy in an attempt to cut costs.

UPDATE: Academic In Boat Tragedy

UPDATE: A body has been recovered from the Thames, believed to be that of Dr Walford.

‘Fire In The Red Light District’ Ignites Controversy

Emma have been forced to change the theme of their bop after the original ‘Fire in the Red Light District’ theme proved too controversial.

UPDATE: Soul Tree Shuts Its Doors

Following yesterday’s suprise closure, Soul Tree is being turned into beach themed nightclub Lola Lo.

Political Protest Calls For More Than Just Silence

“While UCL embodied the spirit of the ’00s, Cambridge was – and apparently still is – stuck in the ’60s.” OSCAR WILLIAMS-GRUT on why we should start tweeting our protests into the 21st century.

Next Stop, Chunder!

Cambridge’s pub stop Tube map has had a second print run commissioned, following the popularity of the first prints.

Willets Wants A-Level “Blacklist”

Uni Minister David Willets has called for all Universities to publish lists of A-Levels they see as soft.

Cam All Ye Faithful?

Cambridge has been named as the 6th least festive city in the UK, with Oxford only one place below.

Women Pay The Price

A review of Uni staff salaries has revealed that men earn on average 30% more than their female counterparts.

Cambridge Corker Claims Crown

A Gorgeous Cambridge local has been crowned World Miss University.

FaceBooked

Cambridge Police have reported a 7,400% increase in the number of crimes involving Facebook over the past three years.

Gay Slang Faces Extinction

Research carried out in Cam has revealed that gay language Polari is just one of 21 languages in the UK facing extinction.

Fee Demo Gets Nasty

The peaceful protest in London against raising tuition fees descended into violence after the reforms were passed.

Occupiers Release Statement

‘Drop Dead Gorgeous’ Frankie Wins Up Hill Battle

Francesca Hill has won the race for Cambridge Union President, after an election race that saw votes docked and a candidate disqualified.

Exclusive: Banned Union Member Running For President

Gabriel Latner, who was last month given a life ban from the Cambridge Union, is now running for the presidency of the institution, The Tab can exclusively reveal.

Are You Chaving A Laugh? Oxford Initiation Lax Taste

Lax initiations hit the headlines as Cambridge’s co-captain brands the ‘teenage moms’ theme “as dirty as their play”.

UL Branches Out

UL bosses have planted “Solar Trees” to provide energy to keep the books ticking over.

“Bunsens not Bombs” Say Boffins

Top Cambridge Scientists call for cuts to military spending.

Exclusive: Chunder In The Jungle: John’s Ent Ends In Carnage

Future of John’s Ents uncertain after night of ‘booze, babes and banter’ ends in carnage.

Duke’s Dirty Dissertation

A mock “sex thesis” by an ex-student from one of America’s top Universities has been accidentally leaked online.

Dons Shafted by Giant Lift

You can’t teach an old Don new tricks: academics battle university authorities over the decision to modernise the historic Old Schools Site.

Blogging Boffin Busted

A Cambridge Law lecturer has been cleared of sabotaging publications by her husband’s rivals, after her husband admitted to it himself.