Four things every type B girl does at a festival that would send most people into a coma

We’re now pretty deep into festival season, and with some massive ones just around the corner, plans are well and truly underway. Or are they?

Coachella, or the influencer Olympics, has conditioned us to think we have to plan our outfits, hair, makeup, accommodation, transport, maybe even meal prep, months before the event actually kicks off.

But, isn’t there something exciting about not knowing how you are going to get to the festival campsite? Or what you are going to sleep on for the next few days, and maybe even what you’re going to brush your teeth with?

Well the type B girlies out there would seem to think so, convincing themselves that a laidback, go with the flow approach is all you need to ride the wave of UK festivals.

But when does it become concerning? We all have that friend, the one you look at and wonder to yourself how they’ve managed to survive for this long without accidentally shaving their eyebrows off, or who gets adopted by a cult as their side quest of the day.

So, in the spirit of honouring that friend, here are some things that type B festival girls do that would send anyone else into a coma.

Leaves everything to the last minute (ticket included)

This girl makes everyone’s nervous system go into overdrive. Everyone, that is, except for her own. She’s the type of girl that will talk about the festival for months on end, maybe even right when the last one’s finished, but will do nothing to makes sure she ends up at the next one.

In the group chat, while everyone scrambles to press checkout on Ticketmaster, hoping to secure the first release in order to avoid a £600 ticket cost, she will be blissfully picking her nail polish off to repaint them the same deep red colour she always does.

Not to worry though, she always manages to find a ticket, and annoyingly, probably for cheaper than what her friends paid.

How she does it? We will never know, but you have to look at her with some admiration.

Relies on the kindness of strangers for any hygiene products

I fear this is taking unorganised to another level. This girl has forgotten her whole makeup, and toiletry bag. Partly due to her five minute packing job that she probably did deathly hungover either that same morning, or the night before.

But, obviously making friends with strangers is her special talent. She has no problem walking around the campsite asking for toothpaste, makeup remover, wet wipes, or even some roll on deodorant.

Whether this is frowned upon or not, she always manages to get the job done, going into that festival crowd with clean teeth, freshly washed armpits from her wet wipe shower, and looking less ratty than before.

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Cracks open a tinny before her water bottle

Whoever came up with the phrase “health is wealth” didn’t know what they were talking about, according to this girl.

Her morning routine will consist of opening her eyes, hungover and her internal monologue saying: “Hair of the dog.”

*Cue the sound of a BuzzBall opening from inside her one man, pop up tent.

Don’t worry though, because she will down a litre of water before she goes into the festival grounds, just so she can put her wine into the now empty water bottle.

Stay hydrated out there!

Leaves the crowd, but insists she will be right back (she never is)

Although getting lost at a festival is not unusual, this girl you would swear does it on purpose.

Picture this. You and your friend group are in the middle of a crowd, you are being squished, shoulder to shoulder, and suddenly, your type B friend taps you on the shoulder to tell you she’s going to the toilet.

She tells you to not go anywhere, adamant she will be right back.

But, as we would suspect, an hour has passed, she’s nowhere to be seen, and you find her later that evening with a random group of people you’ve never met before with a drink in each hand.

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