We tried every bottomless brunch in Durham: Here’s how they ranked

With Durham’s exam season looming on the horizon, only one thing can be on the Durham student’s mind: Day drinking. In Easter term – characterised by the Durham sun, a lack of contact hours, and definitely not the impending stress of exams – bottomless brunch provides the perfect combination of affordable drinks, a good group activity, and the opportunity to dress up a little nice.

We have taken it upon ourselves to visit and review Durham’s most popular bottomless brunch spots: Here’s how they stood up to our very rigorous tests.

P. S. We are so thorough that we did most of them multiple times! That’s how you know this review is legit.

First, what makes a good bottomless brunch?

Firstly, value for money. If we could go for lunch and drink an inordinate amount of booze for the same price as the bottomless brunch option, is it even a bottomless brunch..? Part of the joy of a bottomless brunch is knowing that your drinks would’ve cost about £100 if you hadn’t selected the bottomless option.

Secondly, alcohol quality and quantity. Is it really bottomless brunch if you cap the number of drinks per person at five? We think not! For those eager to participate in the near-Olympic sport of Getting Their Money’s Worth, drinking fifteen drinks per person should definitely be possible…

As for alcohol quality, for the purposes of this very serious review, this refers to the drinks actually being strong and – ideally – actually being from the main menu…

Lastly, a good atmosphere is necessary to keep up the aesthetics desired during (the first half of a) bottomless brunch. Cute decor and a bustling vibe definitely help with the “cutesy, nice occasion” aimed at before chaos ensues after five drinks.

Without further ado, here’s the jury’s verdict (we have no qualifications except a strangely strong affinity for the BB practice).

Slug and Lettuce

May’s opinion: Arguably, the best parts of the Slug and Lettuce bottomless experience are the atmosphere, the food options, and the service. On the occasions where we have been, the staff have been really quick to get us started (with Prosecco!). The food options are also pretty good, by which I mean I was actually conflicted about what to get. Everyone in our group was happy with their food when it came, too. The Durham Slug and Lettuce is also a very pretty location – having had a six-figure refurb last year – which definitely adds to the overall experience.

Personally, I prefer Slug and Lettuce’s regular drinks menu (which has a whole host of drinks in fun glasses and different flavours), but we still managed to to drink lots and liked a lot of the bottomless drinks options.

Joe’s opinion: This one is underrated. I’ve been here twice, and enjoyed it more than I remember each time. With such a classy interior and a lovely proximity to Wetherspoons, there’s very little to complain about. In particular, the complementary bubbly is a lovely touch. Drinks – much as the food – here are classic, but great, and the value for money is decent. However, it is missing the magic touch of a Turtle Bay, in my opinion.

The Library

May’s opinion: At £26 for student bottomless, The Library is by far one of the most affordable options. Personally, I prefer the drinks at Turtle Bay, but The Library has a good selection of cocktails – and a fair few options for food. Plus, it’s really central, so it makes a good place if you’re planning on continuing with a bar crawl afterwards…

Joe’s opinion: The Library makes for my second most frequented bottomless locale in Durham. It’s fairly good value, arguably more so than Turtle Bay, and especially for the Library Bar. As such, it makes for a good second, more thrifty, option. The drinks are served fairly quickly, and are both tasty and the right level of alcoholic, although the range is not as memorable as it could be.

The food is also great – large but not too large portions, a wide range of very tasty options, whose quality make up for their more traditional nature. The pizza is delish. However, the Library Bar is too much of a bar for me, and does not work as the most aesthetic bottomless brunch site. Still, it is definitely worth checking out.

Turtle Bay

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May’s opinion: Turtle Bay is one of the only bottomless brunch spots where the drinks included feel as strong as their regular menu. With a huge list of great drinks, this is definitely one of my top picks for bottomless brunch. Plus, they’ve recently changed their menu to include chips with the burgers, which only adds points in my opinion… Although Turtle Bay is one of the pricier options, it definitely feels worth it for the amount of drinks you end up getting. I may or may not have managed 12 rounds once, so you know the service is great and the drinks go down well.

I will, however, have to warn you about the drink pictured below because it may be the most alcoholic drink I have ever drank…

Joe’s opinion: The classic. I have a fond spot for this one, as it was my first Durham bottomless brunch. The Caribbean decor and food work great as a unique selling point, despite the slightly cringy menu names. Food is genuinely tasty, and you get enough to keep you going but not so much you sober up. The drinks also work very well – they are so loosely alcoholic as to taste like fruit juice, but you still get served frequently enough for them to have an effect. The cocktails are, for me, memorably tasty, and there’s a good selection.

However, the value for money offering has got noticeably and progressively less convincing over my time here, although sadly that may reflect the struggles of the UK economy more broadly. Not many other complaints here – a Duz classic.

The Boatclub

May’s opinion: The Boatclub is one of my favourite bars in Durham because it’s in a lovely location and has the best pornstar martinis for miles. However, the bottomless drinks options didn’t quite compare to their normal cocktail menu in terms of range. – and I left with much more mental clarity than I hoped. However, for me, The Boatclub had the best food of the lot – I had a lovely steak with garlic butter and creamy garlic mushrooms (pictured). However, I did have to pay more than the standard price for what I ordered. That said, do I regret it? Not at all.

Joe’s opinion: A rogue one – I’ve only been here once, and it’s on the mythical upper floor of the Boat Club. The nice view and uniqueness makes this a selling point. The drinks here are decent, and certainly alcoholic, but there’s not enough range on the menu, and the repeated inclusion of non-cocktail alcoholic drinks on the menu goes against the spirit of bottomless brunch for me. 

Similarly, the food is delicious, but it’s too delicious. With such a heavy steak, served in a generously large portion, and a comparatively too slow drink service, I left far too sober. And as Chief Keef says, I hate being sober.

(My steak is too juicy, but lobster is too buttery aah review – May)

Others: The Hideaway… and Spoons..?

May’s opinion: Technically in County Durham, The Hideaway in Hartlepool may be one of the best bottomless brunches I’ve been to in my life. Incredible food and drinks, with a HUGE menu for both. You know it’s good when you’re sad about all of the things you can’t order… If you happen to be in the area, I cannot recommend this more!

Joe’s opinion: Unfortunately Joe was NFI lol

Okay, yeah, we admit it: Spoons doesn’t do a bottomless brunch. But that’s only because consuming an impressively large amount of alcohol at Spoons will keep your wallet heavier than most bottomless brunch options in the country. If you’re looking for a boozy lunchtime date, making yourselves a set bottomless menu is not only economical but very fun. Run us six pitchers and two mains.

So there you have it – a very serious and very useful review of places where you can drink way too much without spending your entire student loan. Let us know if we’ve missed anywhere and we may have to check it out… Oh and do as we say and not as we do: Drink responsibly x

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