A roundup of the strangest things that happened at Edi this year

University life is never dull, but the past year at Edinburgh Uni has been one for the books. From the surreal spectacle of the Queen’s coffin on parade during Freshers’ week, to an almost explosive start to the academic year, all the way to the endless amounts of unspeakable things that happened on the Hive dance floor, it’s safe to say this was a year like no other. Grab a £1 single and prepare yourself for an almost traumatic jaunt down memory lane.

The Queen’s coffin getting carried down the Royal Mile during Freshers’

Freshers’ week in Edinburgh witnessed absolute chaos as Queen Elizabeth II’s was carried down the Royal Mile. 

Controversial opinion, but there’s no way she was actually in the box. I fully believe 60,000 people stood in line to pay respects to an empty coffin, and you cannot convince me otherwise. Big Liz dying also caused the beginning of term to be delayed, which I completely forgot about, but that happened.

The bomb scare on Princes Street

In November 2022, a bag left in Edinburgh Waverley resulted in The Explosive Ordnance Disposal team evacuating the station. The bag was eventually determined to be harmless, but it was such a random affair to start the academic year off.

There’s so much police in the heart of Edinburgh, and now bomb disposal.

Hopefully it’s just a scare 🤞🏻🙏🏻 pic.twitter.com/tGvrYVAAvy

— Jakub Szewczyk (@HakunaMorata_) November 10, 2022

Students living in Pollock common rooms due to lack of housing

The student accommodation crisis was felt nationwide, but Edinburgh Uni had a unique approach when dealing with the overload.

It’s giving low student satisfaction.

The mass scabies hysteria

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None of the pharmacies from Newington to Tollcross had the lotion in stock to eliminate them (not that I would know). But in all seriousness, this was rank. Whoever patient X was, I hope you fail your exams. But pass your retake. I’m not that mean.

Someone took a shit on the dance floor of Hive (it was a scrunchie)

Yes, this happened. Without this scandal, it’s hard enough to convince my flatmates to accompany me to a Hive indie Tuesday. Scrunchie or not, can people start behaving normally in Hive. Get it together, if not for your own sake, for my bank accounts (I love a £1 single).

A brief interlude to bid farewell to some iconic Edinburgh landmarks:

• The Elephant and the Bagel closed down (RIP my hummus and red pepper meal deal, I always think about you.)
• Atik nightclub closed, which was sad because of how notorious it was. Atik was the first nightclub I ever got into – it was for a Freshers’ event, of course, and I went with a group of people from my accom who I never spoke to again past fresher’s week – a pretty standard Edi experience, I’m sure.
• Teviot Row House will be temporarily closed for construction in October, but it seems apt to include her. I will miss the Juicy Pints from the sports bar, and Teviot Nachos will always occupy a special place in my heart.
• The Ventoux in Bruntsfield was repainted – it used to be red, but now it’s green. Will it stop me from going? No. Will I still complain about it changing without giving at least six weeks’ notice to adapt to this change? Yes.

The consistent deterioration of the main lib

With out-of-order lifts, failing water fountains, and not to mention the perfectly timed Wi-Fi outage during exams, it’s been less a place of study and more a test of sanity.

At this point, the main lib has become that one friend from high school that you keep around out of obligation to your younger self, but when you sit back and think about it, they offer nothing to your life anymore. That was a very roundabout saying the main lib causes me more torment than productivity.

Peter Mathieson remained problematic

He received a knighthood and a £43,000 pay rise whilst Edinburgh students struggled to find housing; one in five students had not signed tenancy agreements by the beginning of semester one. A bit rich, no?

In-person exams made an unwelcome comeback after their suspension during Covid

This year I took my first in-person exam since my National 5s (That’s GCSEs, for you disproportionate amount of English students). But all in all, quite nice considering a lot of media during the lockdowns perpetuated this notion of a ‘new normal’ following the easing of covid regulations. However, taking in-person exams again feels like the final remnant of restrictions being lifted. Silver linings. It still was a weird and stressful experience, nonetheless.

The marking boycott meaning dissertations and final assessments may go unlooked at

I think it’s a bit weird for the uni to compromise the integrity of their diplomas, but that might just be me.

Overall, another peculiar year at Edinburgh Uni.

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