If you’ve done 15/17 of these things you’re definitely doing a dissertation

You’re crying in the library, crying to your supervisor, crying in the pub – yup, it’s dissertation season. You’re working at least a 9-5 in the library, nights out are out of the question, and you’re frantically refreshing your emails every five minutes to see if mitigation have approved your deferral. Feeling like a shell of your former TP loving, lecture-skipping self, if you’re doing at least 15 of these 17 things I guarantee you’re doing a dissertation.

1. Your BeReal is always on time

Unless you’re in the middle of a Forest session.

2. You’ve never been more hydrated in your life

Trip to the water fountain? Count me in.

3. You’re either meal prepping like a boss or spending your entire savings on campus lunches

There is no in between.

4. You’re drinking more coffee than ever

Oooh, another distraction? Yes please.

5. You’re getting so many other tasks done

It’s productive procrastination, duh.

6. You’ve never been more in love with JSTOR in your life

Whoever’s idea it was to add the “cite” button, I love you.

7. You’ve never heard your back clicking in so many places when you stretch

Probably researching a chiropractor appointment / booking yoga class as per point five.

8. Every day just feels like you’re getting bitch-slapped by academia

The final duel.

9. You’re planning so many activities for post-deadlines

Pretty sure FIXR thinks you’re a bot at this point.

10. You’ve made about five different plans for one essay

Plan word count: 3,000.

Essay word count: 3,500.

Actual words written for essay: 0.

11. You’re now a connoisseur of navigating the library

Including knowing what the dynamics of every floor are.

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12. You’ve worked out how to take books out of the library for the first time in your life

And are probably a little ashamed it long it took you to do.

13. You’re still yet to manage to successfully print anything though

Still a little flummoxed tbh x

14. You’ll find literally any excuse to start a conversation

“Can’t believe how busy Forum is”

“I know it was so quiet last week”

“Yeah crazy.”

15. You’re doing at least two laps of campus a day on your stupid mental health walk

Reed Hall is my best friend atm.

16. You’re getting very over-excited to see anyone you know on campus

Any potential five minute distraction is welcome by me – be it your old housemate you haven’t spoken to since first year, a dodgy one night stand, the campus cat – as long as they can distract you, you’re saying hi.

17. Your lunch break is the most exciting part of your day

Tears of joy in the dish of the day queue.

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