The Freshers Fashion Guide

Freshers week is well underway and everyone has the same concerns: making friends, what the freshers events will be like, and remembering how to cook a boiled egg so you won’t wither and die without parental supervision. For some, there’s also the panic of how to look sexy when you’re choking on foam and how not to look like jailbait on the Freshers school night, which is much harder than it sounds…

Standard Dusk Freshers

Schools out

This one’s easy – skirt, shirt and tie accompanied with some thick framed glasses and knee-high socks. It’s also a huge disappointment because you will look exactly the same as every other girl in the club. If you’re determined to be different, try a blazer? At least then you’ll lose the Britney Spears look a bit. Go punk, think female John Bender, think sex pistol badges, a tartan skirt and a bad-ass attitude. Make sure it’s a good tartan skirt because no one likes a bad Blondie impression. Only Blondie can do Blondie so don’t bother trying. If you want to think outside the box think Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl. Don’t try and recreate her personality because that probably won’t make you many friends but her style is perfect. Think midi-skirts, your mothers pearls (fake ones will do), velvet hair accessories and anything with a pixie collar, – you will definitely make an impression.

WARNING: High heals are a bad idea on the majority of Freshers nights.

Foam Party

Foam parties are the place for your favourite denim shorts and cotton cami top layered over your favourite bikini top for that ultimate summer vibe. If you are not trying to get the attention of that fit boy in your halls, wear a snorkel, not exactly ‘Haute Couture’ but a total lifesaver if you want to survive a fairy liquid based hell. And most importantly – avoid high heels. If you want to be the one who everyone remembers slipping in her six inch stiletto’s, breaking her leg and being rushed to a+e covered head to toe in bubble bath then by all means pick you highest heels and go forth, you are a braver lady than most. But if you don’t want to remember freshers week as the week you broke several bones then go for some gladiator sandals or try out those Birkenstocks that you’ve been too scared to wear.

Whatever you do, don’t be the shirtless rugby guy before the foam party’s even started

UV Party

The UV party is all about white. The tricky thing about white is doing it right. If you want to look like a bad Backstreet Boy then don a white vest and trouser combination because lets be honest that look melted a lot of hearts in the 90’s. However if you don’t want to risk looking like Backstreets Back then again go for a simple cami top and one of those white skorts that have been dominating girls wardrobes all summer. If you really want to try something daring, wear a white tulle skirt because who doesn’t like to dance around in a tutu?

The ultimate fashion statement…

Comedy Central presents Sean Walsh

Please don’t dress up for this. This is not a theme night. Don’t don a comedy moustache in an attempt to be an ironic Charlie Chaplin. Don’t make your buddy wear a suit so you guys can be Morecambe and Wise. And under no circumstances wear any of the following: bowler hats, flowers that squirt water, 118 costumes or anything that looks like it could belong to Coco the Clown. Comedy Central is presenting Sean Walsh not you in a bad costume and moustache. It’s not cool and it’s not funny.