All the reasons Crown Place is better than Carnatic

Enough with the hate, you’re only in Rankin because Crown was full

Crown Place doesn’t deserve the stick it gets. Sure, it might be pricier than Carnatic or Greenbank, but it’s not like it’s Vine Court. We aren’t the ones who pay up to £7,500 a year and yet, despite this, everyone loves to hate on Crown and not Vine. The lies told about us get more ridiculous by the day: “Crown is full of snobs”, “Crown is the one with doors that only one flat can get into right? Shit for parties.”

Well Guess what? You’re wrong. Crown is the best student halls at UoL. Everyone who lives here knows it, but it’s time everyone else realised just how incredible it is too. After all, there’s a reason it’s the halls that everyone gets shown on open days. It’s plush.

For a start, Crown Place isn’t as expensive as people make out. Yes it’s not as cheap as living off campus, but when you consider we aren’t paying £400 or so for a bus pass and our taxis on nights out are much cheaper we aren’t paying that much more than if we lived in Carnatic. We don’t pay the extortionate rents paid over in Vine Court, but don’t have to spend on bus passes, Crown is the best of both worlds. Crown may be more costly than other university halls, but the value for money isn’t bad considering the savings on busses and taxis.

Bet you don’t get views like this at Carnatic

Secondly, living in Crown Place is self-catered – we aren’t wasting money on catered food. We don’t have to pay for food we’re never going to eat like at Carnatic and Greenbank. We can eat our breakfast at whatever time we want, and eat whatever we want, instead of having to drag ourselves out of bed at the crack of dawn or go hungry for the day. Moreover, the food we make ourselves is actually edible, unlike some of the trash served in Carnatic. Who wouldn’t rather eat a Tesco’s finest pizza than some kind of retro meat curry brewed up for hours at Carnatic?

The essentials when living in Crown… Pretentious pizza and pesto

Crown’s location is one of it’s strongest features. It’s on-campus so we can roll out of bed for our 9ams instead of trudging to a bus stop. We’re still tucked up in bed when those who live in Carnatic are out in the cold waiting for the 699, and yet we still get to the lecture before them. Plus, living in Crown means we can easily go to the Guild or to the Sphinx for £1.60 pints on a Friday and not risk throwing up our pints on the 699 journey home.

I’m back in Crown before the 699 has even turned up

Everybody knows Crown Place is full of the fittest people, there’s another reason we’re known as “Crown princesses”, besides the ridiculous notion we’re stuck up. We’re just generally better looking than everyone else, and you all know it. On top of that, there’s the misconception that Crown is shit for pres. Sure if you’re one of the unlucky ones living in a flat with an RA that’s not ideal, but the reality is the RAs are much more relaxed now than they were two years when Crown was brand new. RAs monitoring the uni halls once dubbed “Crown Prison” are nowhere near as strict as they used to be, they got fed up of telling people to be quiet.

Those in Crown are better looking, it’s just a fact

Finally, Crown Place is actually nice inside. We have en-suite rooms, as well as the option for 3/4 beds. Our rooms are a good size, and our kitchens can’t be vandalised by just anyone due to these things called locks on our flat doors. Our cleaners actually clean our flats, meaning most of the time we aren’t living in squalor – unlike Carnatic and Greenbank. En-suite bathrooms mean it’s only ever your vomit in the toilet which is slightly more pleasant, we will never have to wonder what that strangely familiar substance is on the toilet rim – it’s our toilet, we know what it is, although we will also have to clean it up.

Keep your Carnatic, I’d rather be in Crown.

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