Humanised emojis are the only way to speak to your friends

Emoji has given us a gift. The gift to express ourselves without the aid of fancy and stylised language.

In this modern age, language can be our worst enemy. There is a pleasure in returning to our collective linguistic roots. In the birth of language, words were reflective of the meaning and not the sound they made when said.

Emoji does just that.

Information Desk Person

So people are now enacting emojis in front of their friends in a bid to avoid actual verbal communication.  Acting out the emojis instead of speaking is clearly an obvious next step in human development.

The Queen herself, Beyoncé, tried to Grace Face in her latest video perfection: Formation. Yet it is the masses that have achieved complete surreal perfection. The Humanised Emoji is the high point of human creativity because it is truly open to all, not limited by language or ability.

Sass can be expressed through Information Desk Person, or a sense of achievement contained in Nail Polish. No words, no passive aggression. Just simplistic bliss. Our lives are frantic: RiRi decides to give stuff away for free; Chris Martin is still making music. All these things are stressful, and language only complicates it.

The complete debasement of speech to the point where we act out character-based languages, is clearly a response to a stressful world. Across the world people are discovering the sublime tranquility of describing your emotions through performing emojis in real-life.

When you’re living your best life – Face with OK Gesture

When everything is going your way – Dancer

When you go full Britney after seeing last night’s Snapchats – Haircut

When you’re hanging and your friends want to go out – Face With No Good Gesture

When you get a 67 on an essay and you did it the night before – Princess 

When the tea is too hot to hear – Hear/See/Speak-No Evil Monkey 

When you’ve got an essay due the next day but your housemates haven’t done their washing up, and damn it Alex would you just do it for once in your life? – Face Massage