A second year keeps losing his money in the same vending machine

Vending machines are often our salvation in our darkest hour, providing us with a sweet sugary fix to continue whatever task we have set out to accomplish. Not so, however, for one hapless student, who has found his precious, not-quite-so hard-earned taken away from him without anything in return from the same vending machine a stunning seven times.

That’s right. Seven times.

Second year History student Charlie Mudd has found himself toiling away late into the night trying to get to the nitty gritty of some of history’s darkest subject matter and, in need of some light relief, has made his way down to the library cafe in order to procure some refreshment. However, he has found himself at the mercy of a machine which shows no acknowledgement for the human need for sustenance.

He enjoys American sports

It shows disdain for his efforts to purchase all sorts of different items. He told The Tab: “I’ve been scammed out of Lucozade, Quavers twice and Haribos”.

He couldn’t provide an exact amount when I enquired as to how much money he might have lost, not even a rough estimate, instead assuring us: “It was bare money fam.”

Look at them, they’re proper shifty

When Charlie complained to the library staff, the cold, calculating bookworms merely sent him to the Market Square Nisa in order to get a refund.

Unfortunately for Charlie he tells us he’s afflicted with a condition called being “too lazy” and every time it happens to him Nisa is shut. He describes the ordeal as a “tragedy”.

Even though he’s lost his money seven times, Charlie hasn’t given up hope yet. He said: “A small part of me believes the machines will redeem themselves.”

This is no joke