Once and for all, where should you choose to live in Leam: North or South?

Let’s settle the age-old debate

3 years ago

In the first year of uni, you’re on campus, you’re waking up at 8:55am for your 9am lecture… okay, well, for this year’s first years, waking up at 8:59am to turn Teams on whilst half-asleep.

There is no cramped bus ride home, only a five minute walk back (unless you’re in Heronbank, if so, why? You brought this on yourself).

Then it comes to second year. Basically, you’re either living in Leamington or Coventry, unless you’re one of those rare enigmas who decide to live in Kenilworth. Most second years choose Leamington because let’s be honest, it’s definitely the nicest option going.

However, it’s not that simple. You think you’ve decided on Leam – but then there’s the agonising decision between North and South Leamington. Confused? This is your comprehensive guide to

Smack vs. Neon

So first off, we have not lost our minds, we are aware we are in the middle of the pandemic and both these clubs are closed (which we are majorly sad about). But we are here rather optimistically hoping that these clubs will be back in our lives next year…

A smack night out is always one to remember (or perhaps not remember in some cases…) but if you live in South Leamington you will have to face the long agonising uphill walk home after, which is an absolute killer, especially if you’re super drunk and have to stumble all the way.

You will absolutely have photos in front of this wall or else you haven’t experienced Leam life

So if you are in the south, Neon is most likely to be your go-to night out… at least you won’t have to endure the sweaty, cramped downstairs of Smack, but it’s more central than it is south.

But if you do live in North Leamington, then you’re way closer to both Neon and Smack and the walk home is just an easy five minutes.

So I guess… in this instance North Leam wins (depending on how much you prioritise night life, of course).

RIP to the now torn off, but forever iconic, sign

Convenience stores vs. Tesco

Trust us, you’re going to miss that big 24-hour Tesco in Cannon Park.

When you live two doors down from a convenience store, you become those locals who walk in every night at nine on the dot to buy desperados. The workers are so used to you coming in in whatever attire, there’s no judgement when you waltz into the store at 10pm in your pyjamas.

The convenience of shopping in your pjs is not to be overlooked

But, if you live in the north there’s one main go-to shop and that’s Tesco – and unfortunately, Tesco is definitely not somewhere you can venture to for bread in just sweats or PJs. The south is pulling one back.

It just can’t match up to the big Tesco, I’m sorry

Kelsey’s vs. Duke

Everyone enjoys a few casual drinks now and then, but whether they remain casual or not is another story. The South has Kelsey’s and the North has Duke.

Sticky tables and circling in the basement, Eliminator really isn’t worth the hype

The Duke is unquestionably superior in terms of quality. It’s the more upscale of the two, and it’s safe to assume that if you live in the north, Duke is the place to go – Kelsey’s is an anti-climax no matter where you live. I’m afraid you’ll have to put up with Kelsey’s if you live in the South. The North is in the lead.

A classier establishment in literally every category

Vialli’s vs. Leamington Fish Bar

If you live in the south, the walk home isn’t too bad because you pass one of the best drunk food places in town, Vialli’s. After a night out at Smack or Neon, who wouldn’t want to live in the south just for Vialli’s 10 chicken nuggets, chips and mayo?

In a prime location literally just across the road from Neon, the perfect place to sober up after one too many Jägerbombs

If you live in the north you have a choice. You can either endure the walk down to Vialli’s after Smack (because it’s definitely worth the walk) or you can go to Leamington Fish Bar just outside Smack. Realistically Vialli’s is definitely the go-to. The south has got one back.

Not half as iconic, you’ll miss out on all the post-night out gossip if you go here

What do Leam-based students say?

Pol Thill, a second year said (with perhaps some minor exaggeration): “Imagine living in a big house with a nice garden close to the Parade. That’s what you get when you choose North Leam”.

Another second year, Molly Holland backs the south saying: “South Leam has a more uni vibe. More stuff to do. Prettier areas. Better people.”

Evidently there’s no a clear answer to the debate between South and North Leam. We’ll leave it for you guys to decide!

Imagine reading this article and still choosing to live in Canley. Wow. Are you okay?