Is it just me or is the NSS basically the ex that can’t get over you?


It’s happened to all of us. You thought you left things on a good note with an ex-partner, then the next thing you know, you’re considering getting a restraining order against them because they’ve turned into a psycho.

Everyone who has gone through a messy break up, can understand how annoying and frustrating the NSS has become. They’ve basically turned into your annoying ex who wont leave you alone, trying to get in touch with you anyway possible, whether that’s phone calls, texting or emails.

Here are all the similarities between your stalker ex and the NSS:

They have ulterior motives

Your ex will convince you that they’ve changed, they will tell you they will do everything to make this work. They will try and sell you dreams about how this is actually good for you and you’re making a positive impact on the future. The NSS is exactly that, they’re all smiles and chirpy emails until they show their true colours and snake the future student generations with higher university fees.

They’re only thinking about their own wants and needs

The NSS is all “me me me” when for once they need to think about us. What about OUR wants and needs?! What about not using us to astronomically raise fees and basically trying to convert our education system to an American one? What about not making the high achieving universities only for students who can afford them and the lower achieving ones for everyone else? I’m sorry NSS, but I need a clean break from this bullshit.


They’ve got hold of your new number?!

New number who dis? Oh it’s the bloody NSS again!!! How did they even get our numbers?! Let’s be honest, we’re all wondering how we ended up on this shitty episode of Black Mirror, because none of us would actually be stupid enough to give them our personal details.

You know when an ex finds out you’ve changed your number and then they ask all your friends for your new number? There’s always that one person that decides to snake you. Well our universities are that person – they have given our numbers to possibly THE ONLY PEOPLE we didn’t want contacting us. You thought ignoring the NSS would be enough, but now you’ve resorted to blocking their number.

They won’t stop pestering you

Seriously, please stop contacting us. Just like an ex, the NSS will keep sending you long, heartfelt emails about how they’re still in love with you and don’t want you to leave them without an answer. They’ve followed us into lectures and keep texting us. They’re going to be calling us and knocking round our houses next. Fuck off!!!

They’re trying to emotionally manipulate you with gifts

As if the NSS is trying to buy us with £5. Five quid on an eating card?!!! Is that all we are worthy of?

Just like an ex, the NSS everywhere

They’re so desperate, they’ve resorted to brainwashing us into filling out their bloody survey. They’re literally everywhere. Posters, leaflets, emails, texts, sponsored adverts on social media. Does the NSS not get it? They’re like the ex that won’t take no for an answer and resort to begging. I said no once and I’m not going to change my mind. It’s getting embarrassing. An ex is an ex for a reason, it’s time for the NSS to accept reality and move on.