What does your course say about you?

Basically you’re a twat


Labelled a snobby and soulless Law bore or a money-motivated Maths nerd, it seems that you will never be able to escape the stereotypes attached to your course.

Law

If you study Law, you probably don’t even care about Law in the slightest. You chose it merely based on the prestige attached to the name. Bet you’re pleased with your decision now, aren’t you?

You treat life as one big, ongoing court case, throwing in legal knowledge in every conversation, and everybody hates you for it.

It is likely that you are a Campus ambassador for that magic circle firm and refuse to wear a hoody that states otherwise.

And that internship with Clifford Chance? In the bag. Even though you got a 2:2 in your first year, there’s no way they could turn down somebody as amazing as you. After all, your LinkedIn profile speaks for itself.

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Did I mention how much reading I have?

Politics

Quite possibly the most sarcastic breed of student to grace any uni campus, Politics students are desperate to be the change in the world, but they won’t be.

Your conversation starters may include: “Did you watch Question Time last night?” You rarely miss an episode.

Many people would say you are boring. You probably are. In fact, you are on the whole, quite intolerable. This is mostly because you disagree with everything.

You’ll disagree with this article. You’ll argue about it with an unsuspecting victim soon. And you’ll win, because your view is always correct.

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Philosophy

Admissions to this course are based solely on your hipster levels.

You don’t seem to work overly hard, yet you always do exceptionally well. Despite the first class marks in your essays, you still can’t recall anything you actually learnt in Logic.

You ask all the big questions: What is the meaning of life? Does God exist? But you never, ever, under any circumstances, question the legitimacy of your degree. Nor do you provide the answer.

Your average Philosophy student is often spotted being mysteriously pensive: “What would Kant do?”

English Literature

Poor grammar and punctuation? No thanks. It is often said that you weren’t quite hipster enough to study Philosophy, so you chose English instead.

Most of you are female, and you also get your fair share of taunts regarding your degree choice: “It’s just Shakespeare innit?”

You used to just read for fun, but now that is nothing but a distant memory.

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Languages

You have a reputation for thinking you are the sexiest people on campus, but most of you aren’t even good looking. In fact, you’re barely the best of a bad bunch.

Speaking a foreign language does not mean you have more chance of pulling. “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?” is not cute.

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Language students are always on the lookout for an opportunity to Instagram their year abroad pics. #tbt

History

You didn’t choose Law, you hate everybody who does study Law, but then you end up doing a Law conversion course.

It is also rare to find a Historian who doesn’t want to be a teacher. If you don’t want to be a teacher, be prepared – you probably will end up going down this career path anyways.

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A History student typically doesn’t work very hard.

Maths

You are of the opinion that any degree completely based solely around words is inferior to yours. In fact, you laugh at everyone else struggling pathetically with their lesser courses, because nobody works as hard as a Mathematician.

Largely dominated by males, the rare female on the course is often the only normal human being you’ll find.

You’re destined for a finance related career, and you aren’t shy about letting people know this. You confidently recite all the big investment banks that you will 100% be getting a placement with.

You don’t understand the hostility behind the “You are so money motivated” comments. What more could anybody want than money?

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Morse

By the third day of Freshers week you are already sick and tired of the peasants asking you what “MORSE” stands for: “What, like the Morse code?” *rolls eyes* Do they not know that you are the Kings and Queens of the world?

Success is written into your DNA, and you aren’t afraid to let people know about it.

You are so much worse than the average Maths student, but you somehow manage to get away with it. And that’s what is even more annoying.

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So you may have a great sense of humour, and be on the exec for that society that nobody gives a shit about, but ultimately none of that matters. It is your course that defines you, and nothing else.