Why Sheffield is better than Oxbridge
There’s no such thing as Balti King at Cambridge
Oxford and Cambridge are two of the best universities in the world, but let’s face it, would any of us really want to go there instead now?
Straight up, the nightlife is abysmal. They might have swanky formals, but at Oxbridge they’re are too busy swotting, attending debates and talking about how many essays they have a week, to really get into the party spirit.
There’s approximately three clubs in Cambridge, each a little bit lamer than the other, and Oxford isn’t a whole lot better. Meanwhile, Sheffield is the birthplace of the blue pint and the £5 round, a city where we can all get wonky in a different location every night of the week.
Our alumni are significantly cooler too, while Oxbridge have 142 Nobel Prize winners and half of the current Cabinet among them, the University of Sheffield produced Jessica Ennis-Hill, Eddie Izzard and the first British astronaut Helen Sharman.
At no other uni, let alone Oxbridge, could you also go clubbing in the very same building the Arctic Monkeys used to rehearse in, or potentially bump into Toddla T in Greggs.
Oxbridge students may be having sophisticated three-course dinners in their colleges on the regular, but Sheffield has its very own culinary fortes.
For starters, Henderson’s Relish (like a spicy Lea and Perrin’s, for those not in the loop) is made here in Sheffield. It’s so popular you can get it on pizza and Nick Clegg once threw a hissy fit when another MP, Jim Dowell, dissed the condiment.
Never forgetting there’s also Broomhill Friery, a post-night out takeaway institution owned by none less than Dan Bean, all round enigma, Sheffield party boy, and nephew of Sean Bean.
Both Oxbridge unis are renowned world-wide for their dreamy canals and picturesque buildings, but less well known is that Sheffield has more than it’s fair share of beauty spots, thanks to it being the greenest city in the UK.
It’s also a ten-minute drive from the Peaks, if the city’s numerous parks don’t have quite enough fresh air for you. Sheffield also has the added bonus that, unlike in Oxford and Cambridge, you can walk to lectures without dodging hordes of tourists and over-enthusiastic punting tour promoters. Instead you cross through the luscious shrubbery of Weston Park and that familiar stench of sewage by the Children’s Hospital.
On the practical side of things, guess which are the fourth and fifth most expensive uni’s in the UK? That’s right, Cambridge and Oxford. With lower general living costs and £2 doubles as a valid thing, we can afford to have a little bit more spare change jingling in their wallets.
Granted, accommodation at the elite two may be notoriously charming, like the Hogwarts version of halls, but Sheffield University has earned a better trophy. Nope, not only the winner of the Times best student accommodation award, but Froggatt C2 had the hard-won accolade of the Daily Mail’s most disgusting halls in Britain earlier this year.
Skip the stressful Oxbridge applications and interviews – come straight to Sheffield instead.