Where’s Best to live: Crookes

Price: ££

Atmosphere: (Thin)… 4 stars

Likelihood of getting a thigh gap: High

Situated halfway up that big hill that starts on the other side of S10health, Crookes is one of the nicest of Sheffield’s suburbs and still outrageously cheap.

Leafy

The high street has pretty much anything you could ever need ever. There are 3 supermarkets (including Fultons Foods for the budget-conscious), an organic fancy-pants greengrocer, too many restaurants and twice as many pubs. There’s always something interesting going on and pretty much everyone else lives there.

Fancy-pants

One of the best things about Crookes, apart from the ridiculous amount of sandwich shops and chippies, is a café called Hercule. They do a massive full English for under a fiver alongside artisan Belgian chocolates.

They’re always playing classical music in the background but it’s perfectly acceptable to turn up in your pyjamas. It’s the poshest place I’ve ever been for a hangover breakfast.

Another great advantage to living in Crookes is that everyone else lives there. This means getting to house parties is half the ball-ache it could be, cheaper booze and more nights out.

One of the high calibre watering holes

It’s probably one of the most socially convenient places to live as a Sheffield student and it’s only a 15 minute walk from campus.

Sounds awesome, right? Why don’t you just make a trip up to have a look around?

One does not simply walk into Crookes. Its black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. The great eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire, ash, and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. There’s a big fucking hill called Conduit. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly.

The high altitude and thin air at the top of School Road means clean lungs and better fitness levels when you do decide to make the descent.

A view from a hill

But there’s nothing wrong with living at the top of a big fucking hill. Don’t want to go to lectures? Don’t have to. It’s too far to come back. Don’t want to join a gym? Fantastic! You’ve got a big fucking hill to climb up and down.