‘Who gives a bloody toss if a bit of skirt finds it offensive?’ – The Prince of Notts is the latest Instagram sensation

Trigger Warning: he’s a massive lad


Thumbing through the @PrinceofNotts Instagram account, it’s hard not to feel a sense of begrudging admiration for the lifestyle he leads.

The pictures posted reveal a life lived well, brimming with pure hedonism.

From insightful hashtags such as “#DailyDoseOfGashNeeded” to a healthy dose of arse pics, these are the images that define our generation.

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The Tab set out to track down the mysterious monarch and eventually managed to triangulate his location to an all-male house off Derby Road.

From the first impression, the Prince seemed a powerful, almost distant figure. He exuded confidence and authority with his every move.

Taking a seat in his royal living chamber, we were joined by Harry Holden-Ross, Chief of Staff and Instagram manager for the Prince.

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Harry, a third year philosophy student, started the account in February this year as a way to annoy  HRH.

He said: “He’s not a social media guy, he wasn’t too happy when his antics appeared on Instagram.”

Posting regular updates, Harry aims to spread the word about this salacious sovereign.

The following has increased dramatically since the early days, with most posts gaining 20-30 likes from commoners trying to elevate themselves to the level of Nottingham nobility.

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But the Prince remains aloof, only replying to select comments usually telling them to “PM me if you want anything, #nostringsattached”.

The content of this smutty stream has offended some of the more feminist minded among us.

At this point, the Prince became somewhat agitated. He said:”Who gives a bloody toss if a bit of skirt finds it offensive? as long as the rozzers don’t care.”

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The Instagram pictures suggest a caricatured and outlandish version of a man.

Asked whether the Instagram is an accurate representation of his life,The Prince said: “I thought not, but he just keeps getting material. It’s more popular than my personal Twitter and Instagram accounts.

“It’s annoying, but deep down I love the attention and at the end of the day who wouldn’t bloody want to see this face on Instagram.

“This is the money shot right here.”

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As to the future, Harry remains optimistic. He added: “My desire to annoy him will never die. Even after graduating uni, the Prince will live on”.