People who don’t belong in Hallward
Library lurkers with questionable motives…
We’ve all experienced the fiery pits of Hellward; the looming deadlines, the fight for essential books and the endless coffees to see you through your all-nighter.
Hard work and hard graft; that’s what the library is about. Right? Clearly some people haven’t got the message.
Here are the worst kind of people you’re likely to encounter in Hallward:
Girls who dress up to “study”:
You’ve got masses of work have you? Yet you’ve had time to make it look as though you’ve stepped straight off the catwalk when all we stressed mortals can hope for is enough time to shower?
You might be in the wrong place…
Guys who go to pull:
Now surely we can heartily applaud any guy who can see the appeal of intelligent girls surrounded by books and an air of desperation, but if you’re looking to meet the future love of your life in the silent study section you’re probably going about it the wrong way.
Although apparently some people are game for a quickie between the bookshelves…
The Sky Lounge carries some unwritten rules: no freshers, you must hold some form of BNOC status and you must endeavour to eschew all forms of productive work in favour of socializing and general assertion of your “godly” status:
Inappropriate short-stay behaviour:
You’re permitted 15 minutes for a reason.
Checking your Facebook page is not acceptable short-stay behaviour, there’s a queue of people behind you. Move along!
Incessant book requesters:
You finally get your hands on that essential book, the one with the power to make your essay everything you’ve ever dreamed of writing…and then some sadist determined to ruin your life requests it.
Sorry, you snooze you lose, I’ll take that fine. Well, maybe up to a point…
Socialisers who moan about the work they have:
You know all that work you have to do? Well you can bet these guys have more. Tons more.
Sure they’ll love to tell you about it, they just struggle to actually get started.
Yet they still have the time to swan around pretending to do work and will be happy to distract you whilst you struggle with genuine deadlines…
You know that essay you’ve got due in a months time?
Well they’ve already started it. And have all the books that you want. And are slowly having a meltdown.
No matter how stressed you are, there’s a time and a place. Nobody wants to see your meltdown. Get a grip or get out.
You might have been here all night, but quite frankly you’re taking up valuable space and your snoring is a little off-putting…