Every type of person you’ll meet at UEA

The sports lad/lass

They’ll talk about how their bond with their team is unbreakable and they’re all just such like-minded people who really bonded on tour after slitting each other’s eyebrows and shaving each other’s heads.

Somehow they’ll be able to sing their chants un-ironically whilst walking around campus drinking water from their protein shaker. No one else can quite understand why they love Blue Bar and Mojos so much. Look forward to them telling you every week all about their BUCS match, and how amazing it was when they won but what was even better was downing a 70cl of vodka on the bus home. Can’t wait for Derby Day.

They all live in Blue Bar

The BNOC

They’re more than likely to be a medic, they probably row, or play netball, and are on the committee of five societies. You can’t go anywhere without them stopping and talking to about six people when you’re just trying to walk from the shop to the square. Best thing to do is leave ‘em, they’re better off without you anyway.

On top of all their extra-curricular, they also always seem to have the best flat parties

The lake lover

Yeah, the campus is beautiful but I don’t need to see a Snapchat, Instagram, and tweet about the lake EVERY DAY. They’re probably from the city and aren’t used to natural displays of beauty, and despite the fact it’s week eight they still haven’t come to terms with the fact that UEA holds a large body of water (get over it).

They somehow always manage to find the seat in the library perfectly overlooking the lake, just like their room in the Ziggurats. Great, another Snapchat.

This is probably their profile picture

The one who LOVES a Tuesday LCR

We all know that one person who goes all out EVERY week, even where you’ve all decided that you’re not going to dress up. I just don’t understand how they do it, how do you have the time? Don’t you have essays? How do you afford the costumes?

At least the cardboard’s getting recycled

The one who is obsessed with completing the 5 Ls

We get it, you pull. The morning after a massive night all they’ll be concerned with is telling you about how they finally managed to catch out the bouncers and shag someone in the LCR toilets. Unlucky mate, that’s probably not the only thing you’ll be catching.

Bit much now, isn’t it

The boring library slave

Babe, it’s week three. We haven’t got an assignments due for at least another month. Yes, I know they said second year is a pretty hefty step up but I’m pretty sure you don’t need to be spending ten hours a day in the library JUST yet. It’s a Friday night for fuck’s sake, sack off Sartre and come Cabana Club with the rest of us.

Second year’s changed you, man. We just want crazy-fresher-Anna who used to turn up to lectures in her onesie holding a Snakebite back.

The one who thinks every week is Freshers’

They’ll bun off most of their lectures because they somehow managed to do Blue Bar Monday and Wednesday, LCR Tuesday and Saturday, Mantra on Thursday and Propaganda on Friday, leaving them with a whole day to recover. They’ll be the one that will end up in hospital at least once (a semester).

Someone thought it was a good idea to front flip off the LCR balcony