Five things you’ll only get if you’ve lived in an all girls house at Newcastle Uni

To live in an all girls house is full of cute decor, rotting on the sofa post-night out and mentally preparing yourselves to get rid of the many bugs that may infest the four walls…it really is a perfectly niche experience.

1. Is it Pinterest-worthy or mould poison?

Living in an all girls uni house can be more style than substance – despite being bled dry by Jesmond landlords, you might find yourself stuck in a room with a suspicious damp smell and a lingering cold that won’t quit. Sound familiar? Then you’ve probably resorted to the classic move of plastering “girl dinner” posters over the mouldy walls and drowning the place in fairy lights (I am a fairy light advocate to my core). But let’s be real, no amount of Primark candles in old rose bottles can cover up the genuine health hazard that is uni living. So next time you attend a picture-perfect pres or dinner party hosted by your favourite Fiat 500 Jesmond rah, don’t let its Pinterest façade deceive you.

2. Confessions of a shopaholic

Let’s not deny our shared guilty pleasure of browsing ASOS during lectures, after all, we are just teenage girls (I’m 20). This is a safe space for shopaholics with perhaps less than responsible spending habits which we will happily rationalise with girl maths – let’s face it, retail therapy is cheaper than actual therapy. And when that package arrives, it’s not just a delivery, it’s a procrastination-worthy haul for the whole house and an addition to the shared wardrobe – we can’t complain. In an all girls uni house, wardrobes are communal and borrowing is casual, so you don’t have to worry about shameful outfit repeats (guilty).

3. We love a double standard (for the girls only)

Yes, Paul Mescal is on top of the Christmas tree and Hugh Grant is stuck on the fridge, but what do you mean the boys have a Margot Robbie poster? All I’m seeing are red flags x

4. Paranoia and overthinking chaos

Living in an all girls uni house is like entering a never-ending cycle of paranoia and overthinking (or maybe it’s just me?). From side-eyeing the Deliveroo guy to suspecting every creak in the floorboards, we can guarantee you some interesting methods of warding off intruders. Who needs a security system when you’ve got a chair barricade and nail scissors on standby? Hopefully, this will make you feel seen (and not in a stalker way) the next time you feel like you’re losing the plot for talking to your imaginary boyfriend, dad, uncle and German Shepard when home alone.

5. Queues for the loo (thank God we’re in England)

The infamous everything shower – god forbid they sync up if you’re sharing a girls’ bathroom. The Tyne is drained as hair is washed, legs are shaved, and tan is scrubbed and reapplied. It is a workout, a chore, an art form – and I pray for anyone that interrupts the routine.

Honourable mentions go to hungover debriefs in bed, late-night sweet treat runs, Love Island marathons, rom-com movie nights, and the sacred pre-night out ritual of taking pictures and TikToks. Because at the end of the day, we are all just silly billy teenage girls who never want to stop living with their besties.

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