Meet the 2 for £5 wine girl: The tactical drinker every night out needs
She drinks more Echo Falls than water
There's one in every friendship group: the girl who buys two bottles of wine for a fiver from New Zealand wines. Maybe it's you, maybe it's your best mate, maybe there's a bit of the two for a fiver girl in all of us.
This girls prowls Fallowfield in her glittery tub top, hoop earrings and muddy trainers, all in search for that all important two bottles of wine for a fiver. Yes, they are probably roseé, and yes, probably echo falls. She's the loveable rogue in group and can be spotted a mile off.
She always turns up at pres wasted
You know when she has arrived at pres as she stumbles in and loudly announcing we're going to play drinking games. No, Abi, we are not playing ring of fire again.
"I wont drink them both"
BIG FAT LIE. She always buys the two bottles and swears this time she will only drink one and save one for Friday, but every time both are demolished in record timing.
This is shortly followed by a swift exit to chunder before staggering back in and wondering where all her wine has gone
She always wears hoops
The bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe, right? Her wardrobe includes compulsory hoop earrings at all times, about three edgy tops consisting of as little material as possible, bought from the thrift shop on the corner of Piccadilly or COW which are worn on every night out.
Occasionally when she is feeling extra edgy or venturing to Antwerp (which is every week) the fishnets make an appearance.
She's the biggest liability you know
The words "too far" aren't in her vocabulary. Without fail she is always the one who gets smashed and loses her phone. She has probably already thrown up three times but she is still the one at the bar smashing shots and drunkenly chatting up the bartender.
She always get with the two litre boy
If there is one person that understands the "two for a fiver girl", it's the "two litre bottle of cider guy". He's the guy who turns up to pres with a 2L bottle of the cheapest cider he could find and drinks the lot.
These two are a match made in Fifth Ave – they are destined for a sloppy and hazy kiss that they then pretend never happened.
She is always out
You're not quite sure how she does it and you're almost certain she will fail first year because her attendance to Factory is higher than any lecture.
Keeps Pretty Little Thing in business
She is always picking up a parcel from Pretty Little Thing and will sport her new sparkly top at pres the very same night.
She literally knows everyone
Walking anywhere with her, even just to Sainsbury's, is a nightmare because she bumps into just about everyone she knows and it takes forever having to stop her squealing and running of. A ten minute shop never happens.
As much as we slate this girl we all know that deep down she lives in all of us no matter how much you deny it! She's an absolute trooper.