Meet the UCLU Men’s Rowing Teams who have victory in their sights

They aim to help bring overall Varsity victory back where it belongs: UCL

The Tab caught up with both the Men’s Senior and Novice Rowing Teams before they take on King’s at TSS Boathouse tomorrow at 1:30pm.

No need to worry about last minute tickets; the event is free. Find out more information here.

Senior Men’s VIII+

Maximillian Hess

Stroke, AKA Max Power

Max, hailing from Stuttgart, Germany, is just as skilful at sinking beer steins as he will be at sinking the hopes of Kings, as he revs his meaty engine in the stroke seat. Legends have it that his stroking is so chunky, it puts bow seats into psych wards for PTSD. You keep up with him, you be movin’.

Oscar Frith, BA History, second year

#7, AKA Zilla

In the depths of Bloomsbury gym, archaeologists uncovered the only remaining dino on this planet, completely intact and functional. His only reported life purpose was to back that big riddim in stern pair, and to stick it to #dead unis that dare challenge his might. They so called him Zilla.

Jaime San Miguel Navas, BSc Biological Sciences, first year

#6, AKA Jaimaintenance

Jaime is never late. To the catch that is, to everything else he is dog’s years behind everyone. Jaime is the centre of the universe, if that centre had dodgy head gear and a camp demeanour that only a… no, no-one could ever be intimidated by. Despite this, Jaime is no believer in #skinnyergos and losing to underlings, so he’ll be leading the engine room at 6.

Ludovic Lenders, BASc Arts and Sciences, first year

#5, AKA Ludocris

There are only few people that are brave enough to listen to music through his laptop at the gym. Enter Ludo. Famous for sitting in non-human positions and longboarding to sessions, it’s no wonder that his ground-breaking efficiency means that he is always on time, right?

Freddie Dewey, MBBS Medicine, first year

#4, AKA Just Dew It

When Dewey ain’t watching shooting star memes, or dreaming to become one, he can be found in the UL gym alone slamming hungover 2ks, and in the library pretending to medic. This welsh lamb’s real ambition in life is to survive to Henley to once again showcase his boom hitting recovery skills.

Jake Figi, MBBS Medicine, second year

#3, AKA Figlet

The figgles, the ex-communicated RUMS rebel, chose to bless UCLBC with his weird shades, weirder kit choices and a lil’ bit of meat in the boat as a side dish. If he isn’t loose in a club with some randoms, or raging in general, he can be found kicking footplate in Bloomsbury gym from dawn til’ dusk. #fightthepower

James Dyson, BSc Philosophy of Science, first year

#2, AKA Uncle

Uncle Dyson, whilst only a diddy 18 years of age, is deep down a man with 5 kids, a full-time job and the owner of comfortable and sensible Clarks footwear. Uncle can sure as hell lay down the meat at 2 seat, so long as he has had his warmup in his GAP fleece – he is so lean he’ll go cryro otherwise.

Jack Ren, MSci Chemistry, fourth year

Bow, AKA Jack When?

Jack Ren is so leggy in the bow seat that the UCLBC 1st VIII is the only boat ever to have taken off. Don’t let his thick locks fool you, Mr Ren is powered by the spirit of Leander, and his pain face will have Kings running for the hills and a half decent degree, somewhere, anywhere.

Florrie Beard, BA Spanish and Italian, fourth year

Cox, AKA Firenze

This supercharged rower turned cox is a fiesty beast borne of italian and spanish passion for the remo. She’ll be spitting latin bars to get that rate high and the power higher. She’s a tough cookie – because if being knocked off boris bikes at full pelt won’t stop her, Kings most definitely won’t.

Novice Men’s VIII+

Rob Farthing, MSc Computer Science

Stroke, AKA Godfather

As committed to the 6am row as he is to the 6am sesh..when not stroking one of the most successful novice boats in the country, Rob can be found cutting shapes on any dance floor that isn’t loop.

Theo Fawcett, BA History, first year

#7, AKA MegaNov

One of the tallest people to grace the boat club, the Meganov will intimidate even the most senior of rowers. Whatever Kings bring on Wednesday, he’ll always be a step ahead.

Joris Simaitis, MSci Chemistry, second year

#6, AKA Watt Farm

The watt farm does exactly what it says on the tin, with one of the fastest ergs in the club. Come Wednesday he won’t be leaving the river with anything less than a landslide victory, and if his erg wasn’t enough to make Kings run and hide, his game face at the start line certainly will.

Tom Stephens, PhD Health Economics

#5, AKA The Viking (Stormy Arse Stephens)

The straight talking northerner known for his unfiltered, politically incorrect commentary in training and races alike. He’ll have a thing or two to show Kings on the water knowing a beer awaits the victory at the other end.

Max Holle, BSc Chemistry, first year

#4, AKA Mystery Man

The newest and most elusive member of the crew, Max sits at 4 leading the bows in strength. UCLBC’s poster boy for integration – when not on the water Max can be found in Loop actively encouraging intra-squad mingling.

Cyril Geismar, BSc Economics, first year

#3, AKA Goggles

It’s always the quiet ones you have to watch out. One of the fastest progressing members of the crew, Cyril has worked to earn his seat and will be here to stay, showing Kings exactly why he’s been selected on Wednesday.

Shay Sharma, BSc Economics, first year

#2, AKA Bollywood Elvis

Bollywood Elvis is undoubtedly the most stylish of the crew, bringing the group rating up while sporting a mere splash jacket and unisuit in winter training. With impressive erg tests and a Take Me Out tagline like ‘knows how to stroke’ he’ll be breaking more than Kings morale on Wednesday.

Alec Walker, BSc Archaeology, second year

Bow, AKA The Wader

Our resident bowman has been through it all in that seat – from near death experiences to being found knee deep in Thames on landing. He’ll be showing Kings exactly why he’s kept his seat in the most technically skilled/ abused position in the boat.

Vicky Jones, BSc Project Management for Construction, third year

Cox, AKA Schumacher

Another rower turned cox, Slick Vick over here has her grip on the Novice men like no other member of the club. Don’t let her kind smile and dopey mien let you think for a second that she can’t get her boys working a sweat. Her driving of a boat is like that of a GT supercar racing down a muddy track – fine tuned but with a bit of recklessness to spice things up a bit. Kings, you better keep your line because boy, this F1 driver will have you beaching in 10 strokes.


Senior Men’s IV+

The team consists of Maximilian Hess as Stroke, Jake Figi as #3, Jaime San Miguel Navas as #2Ludovic Lenders as Bow, and…

Sean Cannon, MSc Social and Cultural Anthropology

Cox, AKA Big ol’ boobies

Born underneath Barnes Bridge and adopted by the Tideway Sculling School, Sean was raised in their boatbay. Earning his keep by fixing boats, he has rowing ingrained into his very being. He eventually grew strong enough to leave his nest at TSS to pursue his coxing dreams at Latymer School and then the Oxford Lightweights (although rumour has it, he was asked to leave after eating an entire lightweight.) His rowing odyssey then brought him to UCL at the start of this year and he has instantly become part of the club’s fabric. Its safe to say, if there’s something Sean doesn’t know about rowing, boats or the Tideway, its not worth knowing.