Meet the UCLU Women’s Football Team before they score at Varsity

Yes, they have been compared to Usain Bolt, Messi and Ronaldo.


The London Varsity Series kicks off next Friday, with the Women’s Football Team playing Monday 13th March at Imperial Fields. Scoring an impressive 6 – 2 victory last year to King’s, the team look in good stead to pull out another impressive performance this year.

We caught up with the Women’s Football Team, getting them to introduce themselves, (before they truly annihilate King’s).

Jo, 23, PhD Oncology

(#1), Goal Keeper

The team call her Clean Sheet Clancy, since she has not let a single goal in whilst playing Kings. The most mature on the team, Jo spends her time saving lives and our team. More likely to be tearing up the lab than the dance floor, studying a PhD shows she is not just a pretty face. Although an outfielder at heart, her height and agility makes us feel safe in her goal-keeping hands.

Alina, 21, BASc Arts and Sciences

(#2), Full Back

After a year abroad in Peru, she brought back some Latin passion and is now spicier than ever! With a hundred metre time that could make Usain Bolt shake in his boots, Kings won’t be able to keep up with this American stallion. Running up the wing, make sure you are paying paying attention, because blink and she’s going… going… gone! When she turns up, (if she turns up that is), she’s one to watch.

Jess, 21, Maths and Physics

(#3), Centre Midfielder & Captain

The man, the myth, the legend; Jessica Wadey. Currently in her fourth year at UCL, she can’t give up the team, or the sesh. Watch out Kings, her dissertation is due 4 days before the match, so she’s gonna be wild. She’s good with numbers, especially remembering 6 and 2… Reigning cross bar champ, Jess’s hit and hope goal mentality has worked so far. Cash her outside (preferably on the pitch) how bow dah! This is a little Haiku written by CNS.

‘Here lies Jessica

First team captain yet again

Back to destroy kings’

Lizzy, 18, BSc Architecture

(#4), Centre Back

Although it may look like it’s her first day with the new legs, we can assure you she is as professional as they come. With huge pressure in keeping that number 4 shirt reputation, Lizzy has been a star Centre Back throughout the year, making goal-saving tackles. A tall girl, who loves even taller buildings, Lizzy is a Northern girl with a flare for Architecture. On the rigorous 6 year course, it’ll be hard to forget her… because she’ll be here next year, and the year after that… and the year after that.

Amélie, 21, MSc Countering Organised Crime and Terrorism

(#5), Full Back

Former president of University of Bristol WFC, this Full Back is ready to crush, (both the opponent and a bottle of red wine). With a habit of playing hungover, alcohol seems to be her kryptonite. With the English language not being her strong suit, Kings will struggle to trash talk this chica, (because she just wont understand them). This edgy Parisian will slay your style and your game.

Christina, 20, BA Archaeology and Anthropology

(#6), Centre Back & Captain

Voted Captain of the year by UCLU in 2016, she’s back again to defend that Varsity title. Frequently heard screaming “CLEAR EYES, FULL HEARTS, CAN’T LOSE” on the pitch and in the Roxy queue, some say she’s too dedicated to the cause. Ceezy Sofianos has immense style and strength – she will be hunting for that first goal of the season in front of her Anthropology squadron (Finn & co). This is a little Haiku written by JAW:

‘Here lies Christina

First team captain yet again

Back to destroy kings’

Sasha, 20, BSc Mechanical Engineering with Business Finance

(#7), Midfielder

Make UCL great again! Potentially the most successful Russian spy to ever land in the UK, Sasha Putin Pevzner is one patriotic sestra for both her country and her team. Blasting those sick beats in the changing room, she acts as our resident DJ and Marbella’s resident Kanye impersonator. Like Ronaldo on the pitch and Bob Marley on the streets, Sasha is a versatile member of the team, known for her friendly personality and taking new members of the team under her wing. Look out for this Soviet superstar.

Mia, 19, BA History

(#8), Centre Midfielder

Newbie on the scene, Mia Taylor, is a solid member of the UCL midfield and a BNOC at Loop already. Our resident Human of the Sesh, you’ll often find her at the bar with a pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea… plus the entire rugby team. Most likely to receive a yellow card, her outbursts and fierce approach to the game make her a standout on the pitch. After spending her gap year in Paris, her confidence is at an all time high; this former Lewes player is widely admired by all members of the club. Watch out Roxy-goers…

Leah, 21, BSc Psychology

(#9), Striker

President Poonawala, our resident Bollywood Queen. As well as running the club, she’s been running things up top with a solid set of goals under her belt. Her abs of steel and skills of a goddess have been recognized across the globe. A Chelsea super fan, Leah P spends her time at the bar drinking tequila shots, munching on cheese burgers and poaching eggs just to get that perfect snapchat. Prezzo is hungry for that Varsity debut.

Layla, 21, BA History

(#10), Attacker

This kurdish cutie is a UCLU favourite as the Loop supplier of Krispy Kreme donuts. As the club’s Volunteering Sec, she has a passion for doing good and getting down. The Southerners on Kings team better watch out, because this Northerner has no mercy for your docile accents. You can catch her anywhere on the field, from striker to keeper, she’s a hard one to beat. She never gives up, not even at 3am surrounded by drunk idiots, trying to sell that last glazed donut.

Hue, 21, MSci Biological Sciences

(#11), Defender

Returning after a year abroad in Singapore, Hue has come back to the team as a solid segment of the back line. Her beaming smile will not disappoint, neither will her flying headers, cheeky overlaps and occasional goals. You can catch her at the opera doing her thing on the violin, or chugging a Fosters… She ended the last Varsity Launch Party on the floor, so stay tuned for the Roxy aftermath!

Audrey, 21, Neuroscience

(#12), Centre Midfielder/ Attacker

Joining us this term from the states from UCLs counterpart in California, Paloma, Audrey fitted seamlessly into the squad. Her forceful runs, aggressive approach and strong vocal presence make this long board fanatic a great addition to the already superior squad. This beach babe isn’t known for her drinking ability that’s for sure, but her right foot on the other hand

Simone, 18, BSc Bioprocessing of New Medicines

(#13), Right Wing

The most recent eye candy for people both on and off of the team, Simone is much more than just a pretty face, especially when she has no teeth. Her rapid sprints down the flanks are unstoppable; this baby face isn’t one to mess with. Catch her white girl wasted at Loop on Wednesdays, fighting off the fans.

Sanay, 17, Economics and History (UPCH)

(#14), Defender

A former national Azerbaijani player, you’ll hear Sanay’s roar before you see her (measuring just under 5ft). Her ferocious, last ditch slide tackles will make any attacker, (UCL or KCL), majorly concerned. The baby of the team, Sanay has presence and experience beyond her years. Referee Paul Fuller has stated, “keep an eye on that number 14, she’s one to watch.” Be afraid, be very afraid.

Karolina, 22, MSci Pharmacology

(#15), Striker/ Wing

After 3 years in the Tennis Club, this Polish superstar finally saw the light and joined the Women’s Football team. Another small but mighty member, her last minute winners have been valuable to the team. Our resident yogi can be seen doing head stands and cartwheels on the sidelines and tearing up defenders on field.

Keely, 19, BSc Pharmacy

(#16), Striker

Basically this chick is Messi. SOS Kings, she’s coming for that varsity trophy. The teams’ top Goalscorer has unbelievable teckers/ mad skills/ bare things up her sleeve. Rumors of her at Loop are still yet to be proven, but this little dark horse is known to have missed several trainings in aid of the sesh. Kings it’s time to cry because Princess Nazareth is coming for you.

Women’s Football Varsity takes place on Monday 13th of March at Imperial Fields (SM4), starting at 5:00pm – you can get tickets here.