A night out with: UCLU Women’s Rugby club

They’re more fun than the blokes


When most people think of rugby, they think of big, sweaty blokes who like to lift weights and drink beer, pumped full of testosterone and whey protein. So after agreeing to go on a night out with ladies of UCLU WRFC, I didn’t know what to expect. I later found out that they’re a hell of a lot of fun.

The theme of the evening was “sexy zombie dancers”, so after shredding up a Tab t-shirt and covering my face in white makeup and fake blood, I made my way to Phineas to meet the squad.

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At a corner table of Phineas, I was given a warm welcome by the squad, and poured a frothy pint of snakebite from one of the many pitchers on the table. The mood was upbeat and the booze was flowing, and so — naturally — it time to play some drinking games.

We started with a game which involved chanting “bunny” repeatedly and waving your hands above your head like a pair of big ears, moving on to  the student staple “never-have-I-ever”, where some truly shocking confessions were made which I’m sworn not to repeat.

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The pitchers were soon empty and fresh ones were brought from the bar, it was time to play the final and most interesting drinking game of the night.

Featuring orgasm noises and German accents, this game resulted in some stares from around the bar as phrases like “up za pooper” were shouted at full volume along with some entertaining hand gestures. Apparently it’s called the German Porn game.

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Next, a bottle of fake blood and a pot of glitter were passed around the table to add to our our costumes, and social sec Ursula made sure I was liberally covered in both, which made for an interesting look combining the best of gore and glamour.

More snakebite was consumed in preparation for our departure to Loop, and now suitably refreshed and looking pretty freaky, the night was in full swing.

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The table at Phineas looked like a bizarre crime scene and so we headed off. We stumbled into the infamous Loop to enjoy a sweaty dance in the overcrowded basement and I got an insight in to the moves of UCLUWRFC.

I can assure you, as well as being talented rugby players, these girls seem to also have a knack for modern dance. On the sticky dance floor I was taught the correct technique to do a slut-drop, as well as being introduced to the art of twerking.

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As I’m sure most of you are aware, nights at Loop tend to follow a certain trajectory.

More drinks were consumed and the dancing became more and more adventurous with regular breaks in the smoking area to cool down.

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Some time in the early hours, we emerged from the sweltering dungeon of Loop and headed to get a scrumptious Maccy D’s before heading our separate ways and getting some sleep.

It was rucking amazing.