Now barmy union killjoys want to stop you eating meat

UCLU cafes could ban meat on Mondays for a two-month period starting in January after a fiery meeting of the Union Council voted in favour a pro-veggie motion last night.

Look at all this food you’re not allowed to eat

The motion for Meat Free Mondays was proposed by Vegetarian Society President Yash Mishra and seconded by legendary BNOC David Dahlborn. It was passed by a landslide 13-3, with one member of the council abstaining.

The paternalistic diktat describes meat consumption as a “privilege that is being exploited at the cost of our planet” and will be put into action if approved by UCLU’s Trustee Board.

Tree-hugging fleeces were accused of “writing their name on UCLU’s coffin” by one council attendee as they passed policy to tell students what they should and shouldn’t eat.

As well as banning meat one day a week at union-run campus eateries  – which include Gordon’s Cafe, the Print Room and the George Farha – for a two month trial period, the union resolved to “encourage students to make Meat Free Mondays a part of their lifestyle and reduce their meat consumption”.

And hungry freshers in Ramsay, Ifor and Astor could also be banned from eating meat on Mondays in halls canteens – as the motion mandated Accommodation Rep Dahlborn to push for the campaign to be extended to residences.

I want to hear what Ringo has to say about this

Meat Free Mondays, supported by nobody’s favourite Beatle Paul McCartney, could be made permanent if the UCLU’s coffers aren’t dented too severely by its trial period – but one concerned council attendee pointed out that a similar campaign at Manchester’s SU resulted in their income falling by 80%.

Responding to the news, meat-loving second year Jonny Richmond – who says his usual is a brie and bacon melt from Gordon’s Cafe – said “I am sick of the union thinking that they own me and my body.”

Do you agree with Meat Free Mondays? Let us know in the comments below.