Do you even lift bro?!
The gym can seem like a daunting jungle teeming with ripped beasts and monstrous machines, so here’s a short guide to using the gym without looking like an ass or pissing seasoned gymmers off.
- Don’t be the changing room dick head who spreads all their worldly possessions all over the place. It’ll lead to a lot of awkward tiptoeing around your sweaty clothes strewn across the floor and everyone else trying to find a clean spot to change will hate you.
- If you’re female, steer clear from the weights section unless you enjoy getting what-are-you-doing-here-you-don’t-even-lift-bro looks from da lads.
- Don’t be that guy gazing lovingly at his arms/legs/butt even if you have a chiseled body. Especially if you have a chiseled body.
- If you’ve got uncontrollable sweat glands…a) Wipe your sweat off whatever you touch. Just do it. b) Don’t, I repeat DON’T, shake off your sweat. No one wants to be drenched in your bodily fluids. It’s gross.Unless you’re Henry Cavill, aka Superman.
Or Jessica Alba:
- Don’t be the one grunting with each lift. Making unnecessary sex noises just makes everyone around feel uncomfortable and, frankly, worried that that weight will come crashing down and onto their toes with your next attempt to lift.
- Don’t be scared to ask for help. If you don’t know how to use something, you might end up like this:
Or this idiot:
Unless you can turn it into a fabulous dance routine like this dude:
- Finally, don’t be the douche who rattles on and on about their 30-min session to any unfortunate person who is in your presence for the rest of the week.
If you’ve got more gym woes, feel free to vent your frustrations to your heart’s desire in the comment section!