Tips on how to survive moving back in with your parents as a Liverpool student

At the start of our degrees many of us students once imagined that after moving out for the first time, that would be it, we’d officially left the family home (except for going home for a Sunday roast and reading weeks, of course.)

Sadly for many of us, reality strikes. Covid, the cost of living and rogue landlords amongst others are reasons to return home and make the most of living in the luxury of Casa Mum and Dad.

So, for those of you, like me, who are back with your parents for this year of uni, here are some helpful tips on how to have some better craic with your family.

Have an honest conversation about setting boundaries

You’re a different person now to when you were last with your family. You have life experience, wisdom, and a serious amount of student debt. So, when you’re back home, it’s perfectly normal for you to feel a sense of loss of independence. This is where boundaries are crucial.

Sometimes you may feel the need to sit in the spare sitting room (if you’re middle-class) or just your bedroom (lol, me) especially on an evening when they want to watch tv programs like Cruising with Jane McDonald. If your family struggle to get used to this, gently explain that you need your own space as an adult and that you may have opposing ideas of evening entertainment.

But do spend time together!

Seasonal depression starts to take its toll, not just for students but for parents too… You don’t want your parents to feel as if you’re an Air BnB resident in their home. Despite needing space, at the same time I recommend choosing at least one activity a week to do together. For me, it’s often going for a walk with the family, even one parent at a time. This is a great way to get closer, and of course to talk like two adults. Better ideas include surprising them for a coffee date one morning, breakfast out, whatever! Do something different, check in on them and maybe even do something spontaneous together!

Don’t be as messy as you were living at uni

This works both ways, but you come from a position of weakness. Break the lazy stereotype that all students are “messy.” Try and establish a routine where you work together to keep the house looking good. It could be that your parents are messier than you. If so, they’re probably unlikely to want to hear you telling them this. Can you make a collective agreement about responsibilities? Can you agree to work as a team?

Always communicate about dinner arrangements

After being away for a couple of years, you’re now your own person: you eat dinner when you want, you come home when you want, you choose to sleep when you want. One issue that could be problematic is dinner time.

If your family eats together in the evening, some nights you’re going to be busy and can’t join them. If so, just text them. A simple message in the family Whatsapp group is enough. It’s good to eat together, good food brings people together, but you can’t commit to being there every night. Establish that you value their company, but also, stress the fact that studying is not a 9-5 deal like their jobs. Just let them know if you’re not needing anything that night.

I know that moving back isn’t always easy. But these are a few suggestions for how to make it easier. This won’t last forever. You’ll finally get a mortgage at the young age of 35 and then you can move out for good. For now, make the most of the time living with your parents. Go and make some memories.

Have you had a uni accommodation crisis this year? Whether it’s in halls or with a private landlord – if you have a story you think we should know about, get in touch @thetabliverpool