The official guide on how to attend your 9am lecture hungover and survive
Fake it ’til you make it
We’ve all been there… it’s Thursday night, and all of your flat are going to Heebies, and you wanna go too. However, there's only one problem – that dreaded 9am on a Friday morning. And as your flat mates try to convince you to come with empty promises of "waking you up at 8", you weigh the pros and cons and try to find a way to get through the 9am if you do go which, let's face it, you should. So here's some ways to help you get through that fateful 9am…
Hair of the dog that bit you…
….and in this case the dog is vodka. We’ve all heard this phrase before, and it really does work (at least it does for a while). But will it work just long enough to get you through that 9am? So you get in at 5am, is there really any point that you going to bed if you have a 9am? Nope. So, force your flat mates who made you go out to stay up for an extra couple of hours without. Make a party out of it, keep drinking, make breakfast and relax! Maybe throw a Red Bull or two into the mix and you’ll be ready to stroll into that seminar at 8.45, as there's no harm in getting there early for a change, right? By keeping drinking you also get the perk of some liquid courage. You will answer every question in that seminar with confidence, maybe not correctly, but it’s taking part that counts! The only downside to this method of surviving your 9am is that you might not remember all of it. Oh, that and the 50/50 chance of throwing up halfway through.
Sleep. Tea. Eat. Repeat
This ones self explanatory really, just follow the heading. A universal rule we all follow and agree with as a nation is that tea solves all! And it really does. Wake up, make a cup of tea and stumble over to a Tesco on campus for a meal deal. Once you get some food in your system you should be fine, emphasis on the should. You’ll probably be late because the line in Tesco is ridiculous, but as long as you turn up, it doesn't matter if you're 20 minutes late, at least you went.
Embrace the hangover
Morph into the walking stereotype of a hungover person. Roll out of bed at 8.30, grab the nearest item of clothing you can find, it doesn't matter if they match. Swallow a couple of paracetamol and wash them down with a Lucozade, which will truly work wonders. To complete the look, add sunglasses and a coffee. Now that you're a walking and talking stereotype, you can stagger across campus to your lecture and hopefully make it there in one piece. Make sure you sit at the back which will give you a quick escape in case you're sick. Bring your laptop, headphones and a big coat to use as a blanket and watch a film in the back. As long as you're in the room when the learning is happening, you can feel like you’re actually achieving something and that the 9000 plus grand you spend on tuition isn't completely going to waste.
Admit defeat and don't go
There'll be a moment during the night when someone will hand you a shot and you'll have to decide whether to go beyond the point of no return. And if you do decide to take that shot, you know that you 100% are not gonna make it to that 9am, so you might as well make the most of it and go all the way. You’ll wake up to your alarm at 8.15am, hit snooze only to be woken up again 5 minutes later by that same song that you’ll eventually hate and never be able to listen to again. You will spend the next 10 minutes staring at the ceiling weighing the pros and cons and contemplating whether to going in or not. This is what you're paying for, right? But then again it’ll all be on Vital anyway and lecturers just read from the slides. So you'll just go back to sleep, wake up at 2pm and text the only friend you have in that lecture for their notes, which will probably be better than yours would've been anyway, so it's a win/win situation after all.