“Why do you use that ugly filter?” and every other question we have for Cool It
So many questions, so little answers
We all love Cool It, there’s no denying that. But after spending every weekday night at their events we’ve got some important questions that need answering.
Why do you always carry umbrellas?
Even when it’s not raining?
Do they make you feel important?
Who makes your personalised Gilets?
Do they make you feel like a dickhead?
Or, do they make you feel cool?
Can we have one?
WHO is your photographer?
Can we have his name?
Does he ever have a day off?
How often do people make him retake their pictures?
Does this annoy him?
Why does he upload really ugly photos of you, even when he promised he wouldn’t?
Does he have trust issues?
Why does he like to use the worst filters on his pictures?
Why do his pictures make my contour look like dirt? I blended it I SWEAR.
And why does my hair always look SO shiny?
What editing app does he use?
Can he change it?
Seriously, it ruins our contour. Surely there’s a better one?
Do you feel threatened by The Raz?
What about McCooley’s?
What happened to Bumper?
Why is there always an excessive queue for Juicy?
Do you like Juicy?
We like Juicy, can you get us in for free?
Why do girls dance in the window of LEVEL?
Do the AU teams piss you off? (They do, don’t they?)
What’s your favourite floor of LEVEL?
Or, do you secretly agree that the smoking area is the best part of LEVEL?
Who decides when Guestlist is closed? The Fun Police?
Why do they decide Guestlist is closed?
Why isn’t gin on any of your drinks deals?
Do you not care about the people who like gin?
Why is Heebies on a Thursday always SO full?
Do you think we could look at a bigger venue? An upgrade, perhaps?
Anyway, why is it called ‘Quids In’ when it is more than £1 in?
Why is the non-VIP part of Ink so shit?
How do we get in VIP?
Is Envi still a thing?
When is Phil Mitchell coming back?
Which club has the fittest people?
What’s your favourite night of the week?
And, what’s your worst? (You can’t say Bumper)